Tears of the Damned
by GoldenMoonshine
Summary: After his family is killed, Edward is raped. Roy is left to pick up the pieces, and try to get Edward back to the way he was...or at least as close as possible. Yaoi! EdxRoy
1. At Winry's

Melu: Well folks, I know I'm supposed to be working on Suteneko. But inspiration struck with this and I kinda well...you get it... I got writers block, okay? u.u Well, I won't drop this story. You know why? It's already finished! All you people have to do is review and I'll submit the next chapter. :D Anyways, if you guys want a story about how Roy and Edward met prior to this, just speak up.

I don't own FMA and nobody will ever make me!

* * *

_Dear journal,_

_You see, I've been going my whole life thinking that I wasn't meant to be with anyone. But the strange thing is, there's this person who I think I'm falling in love with. I don't know for sure, but I won't tell this person until I know whether they return my feelings or not. I can go my life being single if they don't. I refuse to go with anyone else. I click with this person. We get along great. You see, I've known this person for about three years. This person's name is—_

"Edward, hurry up! Mom's taking us to Winry's house so we can talk about the Ishbal War in History!" Alphonse's voice carried through to the bedroom, where Edward sighed and closed his journal, sticking it between the box-springs and mattress. "Coming!" He yelled, getting up and heading to the living room. Alphonse was searching wildly for his book. "Ed, where's my book?" Alphonse asked. "Um..." Edward paused.

"I dunno. Under the bed." He answered. Alphonse paused to blink several times at the statement, before heading back to the bedroom. After a few minutes he emerged, book under his arm. "Alright. Let's go."

It took them about fifteen minutes to make it to Winry's house. As soon as Trisha pulled into the driveway, Alphonse jumped out of the car, running up to the house. Edward was right on his heels, but Alphonse hit first. "I win." He declared, before knocking. A few minutes later Winry opened the door, looking between the two. "Hi boys." She greeted, smiling widely. Alphonse leaned over, kissing her on the cheek. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Hey Winry." He said flatly, all the enthusiasm of getting ready for an opera concert. Winry chuckled. "Good to see you too, Edward. Come on in!" She said, stepping aside.

About five minutes later, the group was gathered around a stack of papers, half of which had been scattered around in random order. Alphonse yawned. "Did you print pages five through eight?" He asked lazily, pulling out his cellphone to look through the pictures he had taken. Winry shook her head. "I came in here to ask you if the passage about the two doctors getting murdered was good for page four...I forgot. Sorry." She said, grinning guiltily.

"I'll get it." Edward mumbled, biting down on the strawberry pocky stick dangling out of his mouth. "Thank you Edward!" Winry squealed, clapping her hands together. Edward got up, ignoring the fact that Winry was scooting closer to Alphonse. He couldn't help to smirk that came to his lips as Alphonse let out a sharp gasp.

Edward walked into Winry's room, plopping down in her computer chair and gazing at the screen. "Let's see...page four...ah! Five." Edward copied the text from the browser and pasted it onto notepad, just as another window popped up. "..."

"Alphonse! Turn it off!" Alphonse broke away from the lip lock that he had been engaging in. "Be right back." He said, his tone half annoyed. He went back to the bedroom, crossing his arms. Edward's body had gone tense and his eyes were closed, facing away from the computer. "Edward, it's just an ad. Close it." Alphonse mumbled. "Holy—Do you see that brunette? Jesus!" Edward growled. "Close it." He said. Alphonse heaved a sigh, wandering over and closing the window out. Winry came in, frowning.

"What was that about?" She asked. Alphonse shrugged. "Edward being a pornophobe." He said. Winry sighed. "Edward, it's okay. It's not there anymore." She said. Edward shook his head. "No it isn't. I shouldn't be afraid of those things...I'm sixteen dammit! I shouldn't...yet I am..." He mumbled, pressing the green button on the printer and then pressing his forehead to his palm.

"It's alright, really Ed." Winry said, patting his head. "Stop coddling him. He needs to grow up." Alphonse mumbled, gunmetal orbs glaring straight at the blond girl. Winry sighed. "Alphonse..." She then shook her head. "If word gets out that he's still afraid of shit like this, he's going to be a target for bullying...more so than he already is." Alphonse said. He then shrugged passed her, going back to the living room. Winry glanced down at Edward.

"Sorry, Win...you shouldn't be mad at him. He's right." He said determinedly. He heaved a sigh and got up, moving past her. He could feel Winry's gaze on his back as he left the room, finding Alphonse sorting through the papers that had been scattered.

"...Alphonse?" Edward asked quietly. He plopped down next to the younger male, sighing. "You're not...mad at me, are you?" He asked quietly. Alphonse sighed. "No, Ed. I'm not." He answered shortly, going back to shuffling the papers. Edward grinned. "Good." He said. "I'm gonna go home." Edward got up to leave, but Alphonse extended and arm and pulled him back down. "No, stay here. Mom wouldn't like you walking around this part of the neighborhood by yourself."

"Oh come on! You're the one telling me to grow up and you won't even..." Edward trailed off, huffing. Alphonse shrugged lazily, placing the papers aside as Winry came back. She grinned, sitting right next to Alphonse and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Hey," She said, "are we finished?" She asked, moving to sit in his lap. "Yeah." Alphonse replied, leaning in to capture her lips.

"Ew...just because you're going out doesn't mean you're allowed to lip lock in front of your brother. I'm right here, ya know!" Edward said, the last bit coming out rather loudly. Alphonse smirked. "Well, who knows. You might learn something if you watch further." Alphonse said, the smirk he held growing larger as a huge blush rushed up to Edward's cheeks.

"Pervert." He muttered, getting up. He wandered over to the door, crossing his arms. "Aw, poor Edward. Maybe you should try going gay." Alphonse said as he and Winry parted. Edward scrunched his nose up. "I don't have interest in either gender." He mumbled, before opening the front door and going outside. Alphonse shook his head, pulling his cellphone out.

"Is he going to be alright?" Winry asked, frowning. "Yeah. He's just a little irritated." Alphonse said. "He'll cool off by the time mom gets here to pick us up." He stated, getting up. Winry got up too as Alphonse stuck the phone to his ear.

"Hey, mom." ... "Yeah, we're ready." ... "Yeah...No! I didn't..ugh, fine. See you in a minute." He put his cellphone back into his pocket. Winry wrapped her arms around his neck. "Your mom bugging you?" She asked sweetly. "Yeah. I'll see you at school, alright?" Alphonse leaned in for another kiss, but Winry put her fingers to his lips. "I thought you were coming over tonight..." She said. "I will. I just...you know..." He mumbled, smiling guiltily. Winry just smiled, shaking her head.

A car horn sounded, causing Alphonse to look up. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Well, I'll see you tonight, Win." Alphonse kissed her chastely on the lips, before running outside to the car. "If you can't make it, call me! I love you!" Winry called, before shutting the door behind her. Alphonse got into the backseat, grumbling.

"You grabbed the front seat...?" Alphonse muttered. "You might want to take the back seat, shortie. We don't want any police to give us a ticket." Alphonse joked, grinning. "If they pull us over, I'll just show them my ID." Edward mumbled heatedly. Trisha sighed. "You boys..." She mumbled, shaking her head.

* * *

"Edward, let it go." Alphonse was hanging halfway out the window, glare directed onto the blond. "No! Do you _know_ what mom would _do_ if she found out you were sneaking out to have—," "_Edward, let it go!" _Alphonse blew out a breath. "...Only if you help me get out of going to school tomorrow." Edward said, narrowing his eyes.

"Isn't there another way...?" Alphonse asked, coughing. Edward shook his head. "Not a chance!" Edward protested. Alphonse rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll try. I'm not saying you won't have to go, but I'll try." The brunette then flipped his other leg out the window jumping from the second story and landing in the bush below.

"Goodnight!" Edward whispered loudly. Alphonse waved, before taking off in a jog down the sidewalk. Edward sighed sadly, moving over to lay on the bed he and Alphonse shared. Their mom had promised to buy them twin beds when she got the money. Alphonse had tried to sleep on the couch, but needless to say, that didn't last long.

Edward curled into a ball, grabbing his pillow and burying his head into the fabric, falling asleep a few minutes later.

* * *

"Boys! Wake up." Trisha crouched,tickling Alphonse's foot. Alphonse groaned, trying to kick the offending hand away. A few minutes later it returned. Alphonse sighed heavily, sitting up and glaring at his mother. "Mom..." He grumbled, lids threatening to close. Trisha smiled sweetly. "Morning sleepy head. Wake your brother up, will you?"

"Mom...Edward said his stomach was upset last night..." Alphonse muttered, running his fingers through his hair as his lower lip protruded out into a pout. Trisha frowned, leaning over to place a hand on Edward's forehead. "Hm...Not warm." She sighed. "Sorry Alphonse, but you don't need to lie for him...He needs to get an education. He's barely gone..." Trisha trailed off as silence enveloped the room. Trisha glanced over, seeing Alphonse's expression curled up into a look of pain.

"Mom...help..." Alphonse yelped, wrapping his arms around his stomach as a coughing fit over rode his form. Trisha put her hand to his forehead, which was burning up. "Alphonse, are you alright?" She asked. Alphonse just moaned in response, curling up tighter. Edward sat up, looking at Alphonse blearily. "Edward, get dressed. I'll drive you to school in a few minutes."

"But..."

"Edward, now." Trisha said sternly as she left to get the bottle of painkillers. Edward's gaze fell, but then moved to Alphonse. "Al...are you okay?" He asked. Alphonse lashed out, striking Edward in the cheek. "Leave me alone!" He said, tears leaking from his eyes. "But..." Edward trailed off as he slipped out of bed. Alphonse didn't look too well. These bouts of pain would happen randomly, but they had never been so strong...

"Go get dressed Edward. Alphonse, you too. You're going to the doctor." Alphonse only managed to nod before going into another coughing fit. Edward grabbed a pair of khakis and a red shirt, going to the bathroom to get ready.

* * *

The car ride was mostly silent, save for Alphonse groaning in the back seat. "Al, what'd you do last night?" Edward asked, looking back at the brunette. Trisha frowned. "What are you talking about, Edward?" Trisha looked over at her eldest. "Uh..." He blinked.

"He was doing this last night too." He blurted, looking down as heat rushed up to his face, staining his neck and cheeks red. Trisha looked unconvinced as the car pulled up to the school.

"Bye, Edward." Trisha said shortly, clearly angered at her eldest son's behavior. He wasn't that good of a liar, and he wasn't that type of person. Edward lowered his head as he leaned over, wrapping his arms around his mother in a hug. "Bye." He said in the same short tone, before getting out. He re-adjusted the strap of his backpack nervously, facing the school as his stomach plummeted miserably.

"Well, here goes everything..."

* * *


	2. Tragedy Strikes

Melu: Okay, I know what I said about updating every OTHER day, but I can't help today. Anyways, um, yeah. I'd like to thank Torean and Shirokaze Rin for reviewing. n.n; Aaaand. Um. That's it.

If you guys want a story about how Roy and Edward met prior to this, just speak up.

Warnings: Character death, kidnapping, sexual harassment, Edward's mouth.

I don't own anything!

* * *

Edward mumbled curses under his breath as he wandered into his English class, taking a seat at the back like he always did. He looked up, expecting to see Ms. Hawkeye. But a man that looked scarily calm stood in her place. He reminded him of Roy.

Roy and Ed had met when Edward had first came to High School. Right off the bat, they had hated each other.

...Okay, so maybe a Science project that had Roy coming over to his house for three weeks straight had changed his opinion.

He looked up as his name was called. "Present." He mumbled. He then lowered his head, fully intent on sleeping the period. A few voices kept him from doing so, however.

"Hey, Elric. I heard that they're looking for a new circus freak downtown. Maybe you should go try out." Edward looked up, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Leave me alone." He said quietly.

"Oh, it looks like you're brother isn't here. It looks like you'll be flying solo. Hey, maybe you should have showed up wearing a dress. Kimblee is looking for a short blond he can fuck tonight. Just wear some make up, and—," The brunette had been cut off as Ed's fist went flying into the side of his head.

"Fuck off." Edward snarled, before laying his head on his arms. The guy got up. "Is that an insult?" He hauled Edward up by the front of his shirt, only for the teacher to clear his throat. "Boys." He said. "Sorry Mr. Colman." The Brunette mumbled something, putting Edward down and sitting back down. Edward never did sleep like he wanted...

* * *

Gym class was next. Edward could not stand Gym class. He wandered in and sighed as he looked at the coach. Armstrong was giving him an all-knowing look. He knew Edward hated Gym.

"Okay everyone, I've decided that we are only doing laps today," He said, hearing many sighs of relief, "15 laps around the field." Groans.

"Well...I might as well just drop dead and die." Edward mumbled. "We can arrange that, Elric." Edward looked up, spotting both Havoc and Breda. He sighed and ignored them, heading outside. Havoc smirked. "Hey Breda. How about we see if the little shit can fly." Havoc than stuck his hands in his pockets, wandering after the short blond.

"I swear..." Edward mumbled. He came up short as he was shoved, feeling his footing slip as he fell right towards the curb. _'...Shit,'_

* * *

"Mr. Elric, as much as I love your yelling, please be quiet." Edward glared at the male nurse with a look that was anything short of hatred.

"Fuck off." Edward spat, his brow narrowing. The nurse sighed. "You usually don't act like this..." "You have no fucking clue what I act like, you bastard!" Edward sat on a cot, an ice pack held to his head. "Oh..." He moaned, rolling over onto his side.

"Yes, Mrs. Elric. I know. He came to school just fine. From what I heard, a student shoved him and he tripped over the curb and hit his head. He's making quite a fuss." ... "Yes, I know ma'am. You want to speak to him? Why yes, you may." The nurse handed the phone over, and Edward stretched his hand out to take it, wincing as he pulled back.

"Hello...?" He asked, his tone on the verge of misery.

"Edward Elric, what has gotten into you?" Trisha sounded clearly upset, but Edward could tell there was worry hidden in there somewhere. "How's Al?" He asked, ignoring the question. There was a long silence. So long, Edward almost thought his mother had hung up.

"He's been sneaking out to have sex with Winry, hasn't he?" She finally asked. Edward's breathing hitched. "I knew it." Trisha said. "I have to go, Edward. I'll be there in a bit. Bye." The line then went dead. Edward drew in a shaky breath, handing the phone back.

"Is she coming to get you?" The nurse asked, frowning. "Y-Yeah, she is." Edward said, sniffing. The nurse was stunned by the personality change as the blond started crying.

"Damn it..."

* * *

"Hey Ed." Edward glanced up to see onyx eyes glaring back at him. "What, Roy?" Edward asked as Roy took the pack away from him. "I heard what happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help." Roy replied, examining the bruise on Edward's forehead. "Wow, that's pretty bad." He commented. "But at least it's not sinking!" He said quickly, trying to lighten the blond's mood.

"I guess..." Edward said moodily, shifting to face away from the raven haired male. Roy shrugged his shoulders. "Well, if anything happens...you know." Edward nodded slightly. "Yeah." He answered. Roy then stood up. "I'll bring your homework over later." He mumbled. That was Roy for you. It wasn't like he... He couldn't finish his thoughts, he noticed. He refused to. He sighed ruefully, getting up. Might as well. His mother then came in, clicking her tongue thoughtfully.

"I hope you know that you are both getting it when you get home." She said. Edward gulped. "Um...okay..." He said slowly. He scratched his neck and stood up, faltering slightly. "Mom?"

"Yes Edward?" She asked, heading to the office to sign him out. "I'm sorry for this morning." He said. "I really shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It was...rude..." He trailed off as his vision went slightly out of focus. "Oh, Ed. It's alright. We were both having a bad morning." Trisha said. She then blinked, looking over as Edward swayed slightly.

"M-Mom..." Edward felt blackness creeping up on him as his knees gave in. "My head hurts..."

* * *

He couldn't recollect what he had been doing. All he knew was that he was in his room in his bed. Alphonse was asleep next to him, his eyes closed. Edward frowned, poking him on the head. Al yawned, sitting up slightly to look at the blond.

"Good afternoon." He said, sitting up. Edward sighed. "Hey." He mumbled. "I'm really sorry..." He continued, coughing. "Mom somehow found out..."

"Yeah, it's okay...she understands." Al replied. "So...you're gonna keep going?" Edward asked. "Of course." Al replied, grinning. "She just said I couldn't stay out passed two. It had something to do with whatever was wrong with me. They never said anything was wrong except my bronchitis acting up." Al laid back down, putting his hands behind his head.

"Hey...Al?" Edward asked. Al frowned. "Yeah?" "I don't like school anymore...why can't we just move again?" Ed asked, placing his chin on his arms. Al frowned. "Ed...we move every time things get bad. We can't move just because you start thinking that you can't handle it. It's the same...everywhere..." Al replied quietly.

"You were crying in your sleep last night...is everything alright?" He asked suddenly. Edward shrugged. "Yeah...I think...Just people, you know? The usual. I hit my head yesterday, of course I'd probably be crying." Al nodded thoughtfully. "Roy brought your homework over. He wanted to tell you that he hoped you felt better..." Al bit his lip as Edward sighed. "Yeah..." He muttered. He hated that his younger brother was more mature than him sometimes...

"Al, is Edward up yet?" Trisha poked her head into the room. "Oh, you are." She smiled, stepping into the room. Edward mumbled something as she came closer. "Edward, are you alright?" Trisha asked. Edward nodded numbly. "Y-Yeah." He said. "I need to go to the library today...Can you drop me off? And Alphonse, you can come too if you want..." Edward said. Alphonse shook his head. "Nah. I have to stay home and do my Calculus homework." He said. Trisha frowned. "Well...alright. But only stay no more than three hours. I'm going to be busy doing laundry so you'll have to walk back by yourself. Alright?" She asked. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, mom. I got you." He said. His mother was so over protective of him...

* * *

"Alright, bye sweetie!" Trisha called, starting the car up to pull away. Edward grinned. "Yeah! I won't be gone long!" He called. He turned, heading into the building. Good thing it was Saturday. He had the whole weekend to figure out what he wanted to do about Monday. After all, he needed to get back at Havoc for shoving him...

His thoughts were thrown aside as he spotted the book he wanted. "To Kill A Mocking Bird." He said to himself. He had read the book back in Freshman year and loved it. He sat down to read it. Before he could even notice, two and a half hours flew by like nothing. He looked up at the clock, seeing that it was already nearly eight. The library closed at eight thirty. He yawned, going over to put the book back. He never _had _been a person to check out any books.

As he exited the library, he noticed that it was dark. He sighed as thunder rumbled across the sky. Another night he'd be up late. He hated thunder and lightning. He continued to walk as it grew chillier. It was getting near the end of October, so the cold was something to be expected. He paused in thought as he made it up to the house, feeling something...different. He shrugged it off.

"Al! Mom! I'm back!" Edward ran up the steps, stumbling through the open door. "Mom...?" His eyebrows furrowed as he wandered into the hallway, peering into the Living room. His eyes widened at the bloody sight of his mother and brother on the floor. He inhaled sharply, looking up as a figure came out of the doorway to the Kitchen. He recognized the man as the same guy who had substituted for his English class the day before. What the...

"Who are you?" Edward choked, his gaze floating from the man to his family. The guy advanced on him, withdrawing a knife. "How careless. I forgot one. I guess I need to dispose of it before it becomes too much trouble..." Edward backed away, his eyes narrowing. "No..." His eyes widened as he turned, running down the steps and taking off down the sidewalk.

He was running. He didn't care where, but he knew it was somewhere. His breathing came out in short rasps, disappearing into the cool night air. "Don't run from me, Elric!" Golden eyes widened. Shit. The guy knew his name. He came slowly to a stop, turning around.

"Good..." A deep voice mumbled. Edward backed up, only to hit the brick wall of an Alley. "Don't...don't come any closer! I'll...I'll have to hurt you!" Edward threatened. What could he _do _though? The man advanced quickly on him. His mouth opened to scream, only for the man's lips to come crushing onto his. "You're mine."

"No! Let me go! Please!" Edward begged, unshed tears collecting in his eyes. He already knew he was doomed. Just, when it was over was what he was worried about. He was shoved roughly back against the wall as a slender hand snaked up his shirt. "You'll see just what I have in mind..." The smooth voice hissed, capturing his lips again in an almost bruising force. He then reached back, and the next thing Edward saw was darkness.

"Yes, you will _definitely_ see."

* * *

Melu: Whoa, waaaay too many cuts. Anyway, Read and review and I might submit the next chapter.


	3. Hell Begins

Melu: Alright guys. This chapter contains **rape.** If you want to skip it, I'll separate it with a "..." and this is my first attempt at rape, so it's probably not all that good. Okay? Okay.

I do not own!

* * *

Edward awoke, instantly feeling that something just wasn't right. He breathed inwardly, trying to sit up. ...He couldn't. As events came over his tired mind in a rush, He let out scream of anguish. He felt sick. Very _sick_. He heard a laugh from over next to him, his eyes widening.

"This is a very good view of you." Edward silenced, his petrified gaze looking down at himself. He was completely naked.

In front of some bastard he didn't even know. Anger boiled inside of him, but it was instantly taken over by fear. He heaved violently, dry sobs coming over him. He couldn't believe his mother...Alphonse...

"You're sick," Edward said, trying to struggle out of the cuffs around his wrists that kept him chained to the bed, "Killing people who did nothing to you..." Tears welled up in his eyes again, but he willed them back. The man only laughed. "Yes, well..." He stood up, going over to sit in between Edward's legs.

"You know, you're so damned _perfect..._I don't see why anyone hasn't taken you before..." Edward finally confirmed why he was here. A sickening shiver ran up his spine. "No, no...You can't...this is impossible!" Edward instantly started struggling, but the cuffs holding him kept him from going anywhere.

"Oh, but I can, and it is very possible..." A hand reached out to stroke up and down Edward's length, causing another shudder. "I-I won't tell anyone wh-what you did, just please," Edward whimpered, tears coming faster than they had been, "please d-don't do this t-to me..." Edward had always had a fear of this. This was why he didn't go out with anyone. Yes, Edward admitted it to himself a long time ago that he was absolutely petrified of sex. So scared to the point of wanting to kill himself when he had actually walked in on his brother and Winry doing it. He hated it.

...

The man only smirked, unbuckling his belt and sliding his pants off. Edward nearly choked. The guy was huge. He shut his eyes tightly as the man started stroking himself. "You know," He said huskily, "I found you oddly attractive yesterday. I didn't write you up for assaulting another student. So in a way, I think you owe this to me." He said. Edward started struggling again. "N-no I don't! It's not my fault...it's n-not..." Edward paused as he felt something poke against his entrance. "No, please—," A blood-curdling scream erupted from his throat as the man shoved himself inside of him.

"You're so tight. I love it." The man said, pulling out and shoving himself back in. Edward screamed again. That's all he could do was scream until his voice grew hoarse. With every thrust that went inside, another scream met the air. By the time the man came inside of him, Edward knew that he would never feel the same again. Ever.

...

"That wasn't so bad." The man pulled out, a deep sigh escaping his lips. Edward was shaking, his eyes wide and empty. He had never felt so..._dirty_... Silent tears ran down his face, right before he started retching again. This time, he felt vomit burn the back of his throat as it poured from his mouth all over the bed. He shivered again, letting out a pained whimper.

"You didn't enjoy that? Oh well." The man said carelessly. He grabbed the blond's chin and pressed another kiss firmly against his lips. He then drew back, slapping Edward across the face. "I'll make sure you don't talk. You're going to die. Just like you brother and mother." He said. "It's a shame. Such a beautiful boy going to waste..." He pulled out his pocket knife, flipping it open. Edward started to laugh; a hysterical laugh.

"Do it! Do it! I _want _it!" He yelled, more tears trailing down his cheeks. "I'll be away from you! I'll be away from all of those bastards who ever did me wrong! I deserve to be killed! I _deserve _it! I was never meant to live anyways!" Edward then sniffled, breaking into sobs again. The man actually gained a hint of guilt, before smirking.

"Fine." He said. He undid the cuffs on the blond's wrists and ankles, before bringing the knife down to his throat. He pushed it deep into the boy's throat, blood instantly starting to pour from the mark. He then dragged the knife down the boy's stomach, making slashes across his shoulders and pausing. He then forcefully rolled the blond over, continuing to leave ugly red cuts over the broken body. The strange thing was, Edward had made no sounds at all while the man was doing so. When he was sure the boy had lost enough blood, he rolled him back over.

He was motionless; his eyes were closed, and he wasn't breathing. The man stared at him suspiciously, before getting up and getting dressed. Oh well. He had put the body to use before it's life ended, at least.

* * *

Golden eyes opened, and for a second, Edward believed he really was dead. But something was horribly wrong in his theory. He hurt. All over. You weren't supposed to hurt when you died...

"Dammit..." Edward cursed weakly. How the hell could he have survived? The blood had clotted, but Edward knew that some of the cuts were still bleeding badly. He tried to move, only to find that he couldn't even get to his knees. He shivered, feeling a cold wind chill against his back. He shifted, wincing painfully as he ran his fingers over the floor. His pants were somewhere...

He needed to get help. As much as he wanted to die, now that he had survived this, he just didn't see that happening any time soon. His fingers finally brushed over the fabric of a pair of jeans. He reached into the first pocket he felt a bulge in, pulling his cellphone out. He called the only person he knew. As his fingers dialed the number, he felt his vision blur. He moaned in pain, pressing the talk button and bringing the phone to his ear. There was a few moments of silence. Edward got the voice mail, and hung up. He redialed again, hoping that some way, Roy would wake up. He had no clue what time it was.

"Hello?" Came the sleepy reply after the fifth ring. "Roy..." Edward tried to bring his voice out, a coughing fit wracking his body. "Edward? Where are you? You sound terrible!" Edward sighed, blinking a few times. "Roy...I...I need you to...to come get me...I don't know...where I am... " Edward paused to gaze out the window across from him that moonlight poured in from. "I see a pond outside..." He then felt darkness wrap around his vision threateningly. "Roy...help me..." His eyes closed to darkness as the phone slipped out of his hand.

* * *

Roy wasn't very sure where the call had come from; but he knew that Edward was hurt very badly. And by the sound of things, he wasn't able to get around on his own. Had someone tried to kill him? Plus, he was walking towards a place he had never even been before. He swallowed as he pulled his jacket closer to himself. It was nearly four in the morning. What the hell was going on?

He came to a stop as he spotted a small pond up ahead. Was it the one Edward saw? He looked around, seeing a rather old looking house across from it. As he wandered closer, he felt dread settle into his stomach. Yes, he believed that this was it. He made it up the steps, being careful to avoid the weak spots in the wood. He could already smell the odor of blood. It hit his nose as soon as he opened the door. This was _not _good. If Ed was anywhere near dead, he'd—

He stopped. There was an odd sound coming from the back. As Roy crept closer, his eyes widened. "Shit, Ed!" He ran over to the blond, checking for a pulse. This had been worse than he thought... His eyebrows knitted together in worry. He had to get the boy to a hospital. As he started trying to get the boy dressed, a thought came over him. How the hell was he going to explain things to the doctor?

A strained moan caught his attention as he looked down. "Ed?" Roy asked, gulping. He didn't like the look in the boy's eyes. "They...they're gone..." He said, his eyes wide. "That bastard killed Al...he k-killed m-my brother..." His tone was so calm, it worried Roy. Pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind, he gathered his friend into his arms and headed out the door. "Then...your mother, too..." Roy's fear was confirmed as Edward nodded. Roy didn't say anything else, deciding to keep quiet until the blond received medical attention.

* * *

"Can I see him?" Roy had been waiting for nearly three hours. They had just gotten Edward a blood transfusion. "Well sir, I think family would be the best thing for him." "I'm the only one he's got. His only family was killed yesterday night, sir," Roy said coldly, "he _needs _me." The doctor sighed. "Fine." He finally nodded as Roy shuffled past him. As he made it to the room, he couldn't help the sob that choked up his throat.

Edward had been hurt badly. And again, he had failed him at being there. Roy had made a promise that he was going to protect him from the kids at school; protect him from himself. Edward had not been a stable person the whole time he had known him. The male's personality could do flip flops. Some times he would act completely childish and ignore the world's problems; something Roy wished he could do everyday.

But then there came the side of Edward that Roy rarely saw. At some points, he would act scarily mature. A completely different person almost. But something told Roy that he wouldn't see either side of Ed. At least not for a long time.

Roy pulled himself out of his thoughts to go over to the bed. Edward was watching his every move, fear evident in his eyes. Roy felt a tinge of guilt. After what felt like forever, Roy finally spoke. "Ed, you need to tell me what happened." He said. Edward shook his head, silently pleading not to.

"It'll make you feel better..." Roy said. He wasn't sure if it actually would, so could he be lying? Edward hiccuped, wincing as he started retching dryly. Roy gulped, feeling tears prick at his own eyes.

"A-Alright," Edward finally spoke, taking a deep, shaky breath while trying to will the stuttering away. "I went t-to the library..." He said, tone quiet. "I read a book for a couple of hours, then decided to go home...I really should have stopped reading before hand, I—," Edward cut himself off, tears starting to flow down his cheeks mercilessly. "If only I hadn't stayed so long..." He said. Roy shook his head.

"Edward. You didn't do anything wrong. Not a _thing. _Do you honestly think you could have made a difference? I need to know the whole thing." Roy said. If he was going to help, he was going to need the full story. "Please...try not to get sidetracked. I know I probably sound like an asshole, Ed, but I really do want to help you."

Edward only nodded. "Okay...well...I came home, and at first I didn't see anybody..." He said. Roy could tell he was dreading what he was about to say. "I saw...I saw Alphonse and Mom...they're dead." He said. Roy nodded, waiting as Edward went into a round of sobs. Roy sighed. "You don't have to continue, Ed. I know you probably don't want to say—,"

"He..he r-raped me..."


	4. A Day in the Hospital

Melu: Okay, this chapter holds no insignificance whatsoever. So, just enjoy this one as much as possible...which isn't much. It's not very interesting. xD;

* * *

"He what?" Roy instantly felt his blood run cold, then it began to boil. Edward shook slightly, trying to will the tears away. Roy moved closer to the blond, only to have him shy away. Roy sighed and held out his arms. Edward stared at him for a few minutes, before slowly crawling over and burying his face into Roy's shoulder.

"It was terrible...I never wanted it...I..." Edward broke down into sobs. Roy ran his fingers through his hair, trying to settle the boy down. "It's okay, Edward...it's okay to cry." Roy honestly wanted to cry himself; what the hell had the boy done to deserve such a thing done to him? Roy knew the effects were going to be damaging. Possibly even permanent damage.

He was dedicated enough. He was going to help his friend, no matter what. If he never got over it, Roy was willing to accept it. Edward sniffed heavily. "I don't know if I'll be okay..." He said. Roy could tell he was being serious. "The shock hasn't even hit me yet...I don't want it to..." Roy wasn't sure he wanted this to happen either.

Things could very well get worse. Roy swallowed. "I'll help you. I don't care how long it takes, but I _will_ help you." Roy said, his eyes narrowing. Edward nodded. "I-I know...thank you..." He said quietly. Roy pushed him back down, pulling the blanket over him. "I'm going to go see when you can be released. You may have to stay the night." Roy said. Edward watched him leave, before turning on his side.

Why did these things happen? If he was here for a reason, why were things becoming so _hard _to overcome? He had always tried to be strong, outsmarting every bouts of depression and whatnot. So why had things gone so..._bad?_

Edward looked up as Roy came back. "Yeah, I knew it. They want you to stay overnight." Roy said, heaving a sigh. He sat down on the couch across the bed, eyebrows furrowing in frustration. He could feel a major headache coming on. "Will you...stay with me?" Edward asked quietly. Roy sat forward. "I want to, Ed, but...I have to go get things straightened out at school so they don't come looking for you."

"Please...Please don't tell them. Roy...don't let them know." Roy nodded. "I gotcha. I won't let them know what happened...at least with you, anyway. Having your family die is hard enough," He said softly, "I'll tell them you're staying with me." He replied. He then got up to leave, only for Edward to sit up and wrap his hand around his wrist.

"I am staying with you...right...?" He asked. Roy studied his expression for a moment. "...Yeah." He said finally. He then turned. "I'll be back later." He mumbled. He left, leaving Edward to his thoughts.

* * *

"Mr. Elric?" Edward looked up as a man in a white coat came in, carrying a clipboard. Edward froze. He had never been so..._intimidated _by people before. He took a deep breath. "Y-Yes...?" He asked finally. The doctor sighed. "Do you remember what happened?" He asked carefully. Edward paused. He could lie and say no, then they would leave him alone. But Roy had pretty much told them what had happened, so it really was no use.

"Yes sir..." He mumbled quietly, bringing his knees to him. The doctor frowned. "Edward, I'm sorry about what happened. I want you to see a psychologist. I've written you an appointment to see her in a week, okay?" Edward nodded numbly. "Can you please leave?" He asked quietly, his voice shaky. The doctor seemed to consider, before nodding and taking his leave. It was obvious the teen had been through something traumatic. Edward laid back down as his eyes slipped closed, dozing off into a pretty light sleep.

It didn't last long, however. Golden eyes slipped open as the fluorescent light over his bed came on. Edward looked lazily at Roy as he sat a bag down on the table. "Hey." He said quietly. Edward nodded to him, trying to get his brain to function passed the headache that was pounding on his temples.

"I brought you some food. You need to eat." Roy said. He knew the blond was probably sick to his stomach. But he also knew that if Ed _didn't_ eat, he'd get even sicker. Edward sighed, looking away from the bag. Roy's eyebrows furrowed. "Ed..." He wandered over to the bed, sitting down and opening the bag, pulling a wrapped cheeseburger out.

"At least it's better than hospital food. Oh yeah! The hospital personnel said I could stay here tonight." He said. Edward nodded silently, staring at the cheeseburger in Roy's hand. He heaved dryly, shaking his head. "No." He said. Roy rolled his eyes. "I'll feed it to you if I have to." He said. Edward crossed his arms, wincing at the pain that shot through.

"Do what you want...I'm not eating yet..." Edward said. Roy put the food down. "Ed, you say that. But you could go a month still saying it. I want you to eat. If not for me, then for yourself. Please?" Roy bit down on his lip as Edward seemed to think. "No." He said finally.

"Just remember I warned you." Roy said quietly. He picked the cheeseburger up, pulling a small bit of it off. Edward had his mouth clamped shut, glare directed pointedly at Roy.

Roy sighed heavily. "Edward, please trust me. I'll give you a little at a time so you won't puke it up. Please?" The blond needed it. Edward reluctantly agreed as Roy stuck the bit in his mouth. Edward chewed for what seemed like forever, gagging slightly as it went down.

"Good." Roy said. When Edward had eaten about half of it, Roy decided that he had enough in him to survive the night. He then sat back, watching Edward thoughtfully. The teen laid down and turned in several different positions, trying to get comfortable. Roy only sat up again.

"I wonder..." He mumbled. His mind floated to his earlier thoughts. Edward could block anything he didn't want to accept. It seemed he had done it this time as well. But Roy also noticed the aloof atmosphere around the blond. He was quieter, for one thing. But the emptiness in his actions worried Roy. It was like he was...a doll or something. Acting with no interest at the task he was performing. The Edward he knew wasn't like that...

He felt Golden eyes staring at him. "You think I'm a freak...don't you?" He asked quietly. "Oh no, Edward! I was just thinking about the situation was all. Well, it wasn't a _complete _lie, anyways. He smiled. "I could never think of you as a freak. I—You're my best friend." He said, before getting up to move closer to the blond. He put his hand on the blond's head. The teen was doing a lot better than he expected him to be.

"Well, I'm going to bed," Roy said, stretching and yawning, "you should as well. Good night, Ed." He said, before moving over to the couch and attempting to get comfortable. No such luck. He heaved a sigh, staring at the ceiling. He noticed that Edward was asleep already. Roy knew he was tired. He continued staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. All he could think about was whether Edward was going to be alright.

He was soon brought out of his thoughts when he heard Edward yell. Roy was up in a second, over by Edward's side. Edward shuddered and whimpered, muttering incoherent things under his breath. Roy was about to go back when he caught a few words.

"Please...stop..." Roy then shuddered violently as a scream ripped from Edward's throat and bounced off the walls. "Ed!" He yelled, turning back and shoving the teen awake. Edward gasped, shooting up as his gaze darted between Roy and the door. With no warning at all, Edward ripped the needle out of his arm and ran out of the room. Roy's eyebrows shot up from shock, before giving chase.

"Edward, stop!" Roy's yells were in vain as Edward managed to slip passed every nurse that tried to catch him. Roy saw Ed flee for the elevator, before taking off after him as fast as he could. He slid in right as the doors closed. "Ed!" He yelled. He gasped in pain as he jerked his leg in. Edward's eyes went wide and he whimpered, backing up to the wall and looking at Roy with terrified eyes.

"No, please!" Edward screamed. "Go away!" He shoved his hands over his ears as Roy grabbed his arm. The elevator door opened and Roy struggled out, trying his best to keep his grip on the thrashing Edward. A receptionist noticed the commotion, calling up a few nurses.

After what felt like forever, Edward was on a very high dose of morphine and Roy could finally get some sleep.

* * *

"Ed, time to wake up..." Roy nudged Edward awake, the blond groaning in protest. "Wha...? Dunya go bein' mean ta me 'gain Roy..." He slurred sleepily. Roy bit back a laugh. The blond was still feeling the morphine. "Come on." Roy picked him up bridal style, heading out to the wheelchair sitting outside. He carefully set Edward in it, starting off down the hallway. He was grateful that hospitals had this rule, for once. As he wheeled Edward down the hallway, he couldn't help but chuckle as Edward idly watched the tiles fly by with a drunken and confused look on his face.

"You'll feel better once we get home." Roy promised. Now that he was away from all of the needles, he assumed Ed would be fine.

Of course, Roy didn't know how wrong he was.

* * *

So...R and R people? xD


	5. Settling In

Melu: Sorry for the kinda late update guys. It's really busy today. I stole a few minutes to myself so I could upload this. As you know, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. It'd be yaoi filled if I did. xD

* * *

As soon as they got to Roy's house, Roy began doubting what condition Ed was in. He was completely silent. He had gone to the living room and sat down, and Roy hadn't seen him since. He looked up from cooking breakfast as Edward walked in. He still looked a bit dazed, but aware for the most part.

"Yeah?" Roy asked. "Do you need something?" He watched as Edward shook his head. Everything was quiet. Then Edward slowly walked over to Roy, watching him intently. Roy felt a bit uncomfortable with it, but made no move to show it.

"I told the school I'd be out for a while to take care of you. I didn't know how long, so I just told them to withdraw me for now. I honestly don't know if I want to go back or not." He said. He blinked as Edward suddenly wrapped his arms around him, resting his head on his shoulder. "No. Don't leave." He said quietly. Roy frowned.

"Ed, we went over this. I will not leave you. I promise, okay?" He asked. At the close proximity Edward was at, Roy would normally be blushing like mad. But the current situation told him that it wasn't good to do anything that would remind Edward of that day.

Yes, he admitted it. He had developed a crush on Edward ever since he met him during the science project. The blond was as innocent as a male could be. Roy thought it was cute, and worked hard to keep that innocence in tact until he himself believed Edward was ready.

But even at the age before adulthood, Edward still had not been ready. That had worried Roy. But now that all this had happened, he knew that the effects of the experience meant that Edward could face not _ever _being ready. He placed his hand on the blond's head, running his fingers through the golden locks affectionately.

"I'm sorry about this, Edward." He mumbled. Edward stiffened, before breaking down into sobs. Roy just held him, still running his fingers through his hair. No matter how much he didn't want to face it, Edward was going to be breaking down at random points for possibly a very long while. Roy guided him back to his own bedroom, before pausing. "Lay down. I'll put a movie in for you, alright?" Edward only nodded, sitting on the bed and drawing his knees up to himself. As Roy browsed through a few movies, Edward grabbed a pillow and held it to him. Roy suddenly stood.

"Okay. We have a few Disney movies to choose from and a few comedies." Roy wasn't even going to think about bringing the Horror movies in. Like he expected, Edward only pointed to the Disney movie in his hand. "I knew it." Roy mumbled. The blond always did have a soft spot for Disney movies. Roy grew bored whenever Edward had come over to watch one. Edward watched him cautiously as Roy put the movie in. "I'll be back in a while to check on you. I left my eggs burning..." Roy then turned, leaving the room.

The house was silent for a while. Roy almost thought Edward had gone to sleep. His put his plate in the sink and wandered down the hall, peeping in. Edward was still watching the movie, his eyes solely focused on the TV. Roy rolled his eyes, wandering in and sitting beside the blond. "I made you some eggs if you want them later." Roy said. Edward merely nodded, his gaze still trained on the screen.

Roy couldn't say he hated this movie in front of Ed. He really didn't hate it, but after watching it fifteen times in three days, Roy had found that it had taken a lot to start enjoying it again. This particular movie that was playing happened to be about lions...

Roy yawned and scratched his head, leaning back on the bed. "So. Are you feeling better?" Roy asked. Edward nodded automatically. "Yes." He said quietly. Roy could still hear the strain in the blond's voice, however. "I was thinking," Roy said, sitting back up, "don't you need a few things...if you're going to stay...?" Roy asked. He didn't think Edward had been paying attention, but after a few minutes, he spoke.

"A few things...can you go get them for me?" Edward asked. Roy nodded. "Yeah. If I see anything that looks like you might want it, I'll get. You just...get some rest, okay?" Roy got up, turning the TV off as Ed pulled the blanket over himself. Roy left the room, being sure to lock all of the windows and the doors before he left.

He didn't trust Ed.

* * *

As Roy stepped through the doorway into the dark house, looking around. It looked like the place had been cleaned up. Roy took a deep breath, moving towards Edward's room. The atmosphere around the house was saddening... He entered the bedroom, a bag in his hand that he had gotten from the Kitchen. He went to the closet and picked out some outfits he saw Edward wear most of the time, before moving to the wooden desk in the corner.

There were papers and pictures scattered about. He collected the pictures, noticing it was a of a trip that he, Edward, and Alphonse had taken to the fair a year ago. He smiled sadly, putting the pictures back down. After collecting a few more personal items, Roy was about to leave. Until something sticking out of the mattress caught his eye. He went over, pulling the book out. When he looked at it, he noticed it wasn't just a book.

It was Edward's _journal._

Roy didn't know the boy had possessed one. He shook his head. He really wanted to know what kind of things Edward would write about. But it was his privacy, and Roy would respect that. He sighed, heading down to the Living room. He picked up Ed's sketchbooks from off of the couch, before moving over to the table. There was a family picture of when Ed and Al had been younger, posing with their mother. He swallowed, taking the picture and putting it in the bag. He would only give it to Ed when he was sure the blond could take it.

He finally left, down the steps. He was sure that if he was careful, Ed would be fine. He just hoped that he could help him enough to get at least semi normal again...

"Roy!" The onyx eyed male looked up as Winry ran up to him. Roy paled. "You don't know where Al and Ed are, do you?" She asked. Roy found he had lost his voice as he gazed at the blond girl. He couldn't tell her. "I'm sorry, Winry. If you want to know, you'll have to go to the police station..." Roy said, his voice cracking. "Wait, Al got arrested? I swear, when I see him...well, bye Roy!" She turned on her heel, heading towards the department.

Roy sighed, looking up. They had mail... He went over to the mailbox and sifted through the bills. He came across a blue envelope, looking at it confusedly. It was Ed's. They wanted to know if he granted permission for a funeral. Roy would do that. Even if Ed didn't want to go, Roy believed that Alphonse and Trisha deserved a proper funeral for them to rest in peace. Not that Roy heavily believed in that sort of thing.

"Edward, are you up?" Roy's call was met with silence. He frowned and went down the hall, opening the door. Ed was curled up sleeping, Roy's extra pillow clutched to him. Roy smiled sadly as he set the bag down. "I'll just forge the letter for him..." He mumbled. Besides, if they called to check on authentication, Edward would surely know what Roy had done. As he sat on the bed to fill out the form, he felt Edward shift and then turned around the lay his head next to Roy's leg. Roy almost jumped, but settled as he noticed the blond was still asleep.

He had been filling out the second paper when Ed mumbled. "No Roy, don't do that...I...thank you..." Edward turned onto his side to face away from Roy. Roy chuckled. The words reminded him of something that he had done almost three years ago after he had met Edward. It had been a kiss. Not anything intimate, just an innocent kiss. Edward had been one of those people who had to experiment with everything. Roy had tried to decline, but Edward had proved to be quite a good kisser for the first time.

"_Hey, uh...Roy?" Edward moved the worksheet he was working on aside. Roy glanced up uninterestedly, still playing on Edward's Xbox. Edward blushed, sitting down beside him. "How do you...kiss someone?" The controller dropped out of Roy's hands from the question, but he was quick to gain his composure._

"_What?" He asked, nearly choking. Edward frowned. "How do you kiss someone?" Roy blinked. "You're...kidding. You're kidding, right? You're in high school and you haven't kissed anyone yet?" Roy couldn't believe it. "I've kissed people! I've kissed my mom." He said. Roy paused, before bursting into a fit of laughter._

"_Of _course _you've kissed your mom! You're her son!" He said, his laughter dieing off into chuckles. Edward blushed madly._

"_Show me." He said._

"_Wh-What...?" Roy blinked, his voice taking on a nervous tone._

"_You heard me. Show me how you kiss someone. I want to know." Edward sat forwards, looking pointedly at Roy. Roy sucked in a breath. "Well...alright..." It would be okay. It was just Edward. It didn't mean anything. Roy leaned in also, his thoughts starting to run a mile a minute. This was wrong. Edward was innocent. Way too innocent. He was—_

_Roy was cut off as their lips met in a gentle kiss. Roy could see Edward's cheeks flaring. Roy quickly pulled away, his own cheeks red. _

"_Edward, I-I..."_

"_That was great." Edward said. "In fact, that was really great." Roy's cheeks reddened again. "Ah, don't do that," Edward grinned, "thanks, Roy." Edward sat back. "I'm going to go see where Al went, okay?" Edward then got up, heading out of the room and leaving Roy awestruck._

And that afternoon was the day Roy found out that he liked Edward. And not just as a friend, either.


	6. Psychologist Appointment

Melu: I know this is supposed to come tomorrow guys, but honestly, I'm going to be busy. Terribly busy, in fact. I've been ignoring house chores, and those must be done tomorrow. 12 loads of laundry, here I come!

I'd like to thank all of my reviewers. Torean, without your help, this story might not even be twenty reviews right now. This story may not get many reviews. But if it hits thirty, I'll be a very happy person. :) Anyways, the alert system is being screwy as hell, so I might not see your reviews until days after you send them.

Also, the part in the psychologists office...well, I know it sounds stupid, but my sister did something similar when she went, so I went off of her visits of what she could remember.

Also, I own nothing. Not even my computer. Enjoy the story!

* * *

"Roy...? Roy...you're on my arm...get off..." Edward yawned sleepily as he glanced at the clock. It had been a week since the hospital visit, and needless to say, Roy was finding Edward to be a bit clingy. He never wanted to do anything by himself.

Roy blinked, sitting up and looking at Edward dazedly. "What? Go to the bathroom by yourself, Ed..." He mumbled, turning over. Edward yanked his arm out from under Roy, grumbling and getting up. "Aw, Roy..." Edward's gaze fell as he made his way to the Kitchen for a drink. He spotted a white note on the counter, frowning.

_'Edward's Psychologist appt. 11:30 am Sig Curtis'_

"..." Edward snatched the note and balled it up, throwing it in the trash. He didn't need a psychiatrist...he was feeling better already... Or at least he thought so. He looked up as Roy stumbled into the Kitchen. "Don't even think about it. I saw that." Roy said tiredly. He opened the fridge and grabbed the carton of orange juice from the shelf.

"We're going out for breakfast so we can get to your appointment on time." Roy said, chugging the rest of what was left and throwing it in the trash. "You're taking a bath," Roy said flatly, "you need one." He saw the petrified look that came over Edward's features. As he had found out, Edward had freaked out when he had to get completely unclothed. Although it made perfect sense to Roy, it still bugged the shit out of him.

"I'll be in there with you. I need to shave." He mumbled. Edward paused, before reluctantly nodding and heading to the bathroom. Roy followed him, going in and locking the door. He watched Edward closely as the blond started to undress. He paused when he was in his boxers, looking back at Roy pleadingly.

"No. Boxers too." Roy said flatly. He turned away from Ed and to the sink as he got the necessary materials to shave with. He heard the water run, and looked over. "Ed." He said warningly. Edward shook his head. Roy rolled his eyes. "You won't get clean if you bathe in your boxers." He said. It was a task that Edward had to do himself. Roy knew the blond would be even worse if he helped.

After a few minutes of coaxing, Edward finally took his boxers off but had his eyes closed the whole time he was bathing. Which ended up with Roy having to hand him everything and being late on his shave.

When Roy got done shaving, He handed Edward his towel and helped him get out. Edward wrapped the towel around himself as fast as he could, before shoving passed Roy and going to get dressed. Roy inwardly sighed, going to get dressed himself. This was going to be a terrible day. He just _knew _it.

Roy's predictions only seemed to get even better as the morning dragged on. As they sat in a small Cafe on the other side of the city, Roy couldn't help but notice Edward's fidgety attitude. Roy raised an eyebrow. "What's up?" He asked. Edward looked out the window, then to Roy, then to the front door and back. "I don't like it here." He said quietly. "We'll leave after we eat." Roy said. He was determined to keep Edward focused on eating. It was like the boy was avoiding meals.

"Edward, are you trying to kill yourself?" The question was so straightforward, Edward was hesitant to answer. "N-no, of course not!" He said finally. "Then why are you trying to avoid eating?" Roy asked. Edward frowned. "I feel sick..." He mumbled. As if some God was trying to encourage this, he sat over and threw up all in the floor. Roy paled.

"Edward!" He said scornfully. His eyebrows rose as a waitress came up, looking between Roy and Edward expectantly. "I'll get it..." Roy mumbled. The waitress directed him over to the mopping supplies. When the hell had it become a rule that if someone accidentally threw up that the customer had to clean it? Roy rolled his eyes as he dragged the mop over, starting to clean the mess up.

"Sorry Roy..." Edward mumbled, before plunging into a sudden coughing fit. Roy paused. "No, I should be asking you. Are _you _alright?" He asked. Edward nodded. "I'm going to go sit outside. Can you just order something to go?" He asked. Roy just nodded. Edward got up, going to the door and leaving the Cafe. Roy was half way done when his mind actually processed that the blond had left. Edward wouldn't leave by himself...

Roy hastily finished cleaning the mess, running outside. "Ed!" He yelled. He looked around frantically. No sign of him. "Shit!" Roy cursed. Had Edward really run off? Roy knew Edward wasn't looking forward to seeing the Psychiatrist, but this was just plain ridiculous...

"Edward James Elric, where the hell are you?" Roy called. He started off down the sidewalk, onyx eyes looking over every place the blond could be hiding. After five minutes of searching, Roy stopped. He had spotted him. Edward was sitting on the wall of the bridge, gazing down at the water. "Ed!" Roy yelled, running up to him, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Roy's mind was only on what _could have _happened. The image of Edward jumping from the bridge came to his mind, plain as day.

"Let's go or we'll be late." Roy grabbed Edward's arm, pulling him off onto the bridge. As they were walking, Edward suddenly spoke up. "They're not coming back..." He said. Roy stopped, looking back at Edward. Tears were falling freely, and Roy knew that the memory had finally caught up to the blond. "They're gone...they're _gone, _Roy!" He yelled, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. Roy pulled Edward to him, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

"I know..." Roy said. Edward had not said a thing about his family ever since he had come to stay with Roy. Not at all. _'He was ignoring it...'_ Roy realized. He bit down on his lower lip, pulling Edward away from him. "Come on. Let's go." He said. He knew how badly Edward wanted to be comforted. But if they didn't make it to Edward's appointment, it was Roy who was going to get in trouble.

Roy was not too fond of getting in trouble.

After a while they made it to the building, Roy having to drag Edward inside. It wasn't that pleasant. Edward had started screaming his head off about how 'this was wrong' or 'you _are_ trying to kill me' when they got in the elevator, in which Roy had to cover his ears and be thankful that they were the only two people in the damned thing.

* * *

"Mr. Elric?" The receptionist called his name, and Edward stood. "Will you come with me?" He asked, looking at Roy. Roy shook his head. "This is a first examination. They would probably want only your explanation of what's going on." He said. Edward sighed and nodded, heading through the door. He went down a hallway to where he saw a plain wooden door. He knocked on it and after hearing a faint 'come in', he entered.

"Hello Mr. Elric. I'm Sig Curtis and I'll be your psychologist for today. After I examine you, I'll transfer you to my wife. She's a psychiatrist. This will only be done if there is a need, however." A man sat behind a desk, checking through his papers. "Please take a seat." Edward wandered over to the couch on the other room, sitting down. A minute later he began fidgeting uncomfortably, looking between the man and the clock. The man finally got up, moving to sit in a chair to the right of Edward.

"Alright, Edward. It seems you are here for...hm..." He trailed off, his brows narrowing slightly. "I see." He said. "Well then, how about you introduce yourself?" He requested. Edward sighed heavily.

"Well...I'm Edward." He said. He willed him to continue. "I'm going to be seventeen in a few months..." He said. Sig looked as if he didn't believe that, but made no comment. "And...I like to draw..." Edward mumbled. "Oh, that's interesting. Do you have any...pictures with you?" He asked. "He sure does." Roy came in, putting a bag next to Edward. "Sorry to interrupt, sir." Roy nodded to him, nodding at Edward. "Don't lie." He said warningly, before leaving.

"Well then." Sig frowned. Edward took a deep breath, pulling the sketchbook he had been using out. Sig nodded, taking it and flipping through the pages. "I see. Do you have an older book I could look at?" He asked. "You know...before the accident?" Edward nodded, pulling a yellow one out and handing it to him wordlessly. He opened it.

"Hm. I _do _see a difference." He said. Edward frowned. "Difference?" He repeated quietly. "Yes, Edward. There is a big difference. Your art was not nearly as dark before...I can tell that this has effected you deeply. Tell me, how do you feel about all of this?"

"I feel...nothing..." Edward said. "I want to say sad...but it's not strong enough...no emotion fits..." He said quietly, drawing his knees to him. Sig nodded. "All right Edward. This will be a test. I'm going to give you a story, and it will have blanks. I want you to put any word that you feel is right in it," He explained, "then I'll take it and read it back to you. Okay?" Edward nodded as a sheet of paper was handed to him.

After almost ten minutes, Edward handed the paper back. Sig nodded and cleared his throat, starting to read.

"Sally Berman lost her mother after taking a trip to the store. After trying to find her mother, she decided to go home and look. After not finding her mother, she felt worried. So Sally went next door to get a gun. She then went back home to ... ." The rest of the page was blank. "Edward, what were you thinking about when you wrote this?" He asked tensely. Edward shook his head. His eyes had glazed over in thought.

"Edward..." Sig wasn't sure how bad off Edward was, but he was entirely sure that this boy needed help. He had seen all of the signs. "Edward, listen to me. How are you acting at home?" He asked. "Fine." Edward said. "Okay, let me rephrase that. How are you _thinking _at home?"

"I've wanted to die ever since it happened..." Edward said quietly. "I don't have anyone who cares about me. My best friend who's looking after me thinks I'm an annoyance, and my family is gone...Why should I stay? I can go back to being with them if I die..." He said. Sig shook his head.

"Edward, no. I'm very sure that boy out there cares for you very much. Why would he be taking care of you if he didn't?" Sig asked. Edward shrugged helplessly. "Maybe because he wants to...I don't know..." He mumbled. His gaze was finding every place to look at but him.

"You're lying to him. How can you call that fine, Ed?" He asked. "Don't call me that." Edward said quietly. "Only he can call me that..." Sig frowned. "Alright Edward, I think this session is done for today. I will speak with Mr. Mustang before you leave." He said. Edward just nodded quietly. He then got up, heading out of the room. Sig got up and followed him to the door as he left into the waiting room.

"Done?" Roy looked up from his magazine. "That was quick." He said. He nodded his head towards the door, but stopped as Sig called out to him. "Mr. Mustang, I need to speak with you." He said. Edward looked scared for a moment, before quietly slipping out of the room.

Sig crossed his arms, looking evenly at Roy before speaking. "I have a right to believe Mr. Elric is suicidal." He said. Roy gained a disbelieving look. "...What?" He asked. "Edward? Suicidal? Sir, I know he's bad, but..." Roy trailed off as Sig handed him the paper she had Edward fill out. Roy examined it. Well, it was definitely Edward's handwriting. No doubt. He bit down on his lip. "So what do I do?" He asked.

"I'm prescribing him anti-depressants. I'm also going to transfer him to my wife, who is a psychiatrist on the fifth floor." Sig sat back as Roy nodded. "I need to go." He said. Sig nodded, but paused. "And Mr. Mustang...try to understand...He's in very unstable condition right now. The last thing he needs is for someone to yell at him." He said. Roy only nodded, taking his leave. As he made it into the waiting room, he looked around. "Ed?"

...Shit.

* * *

You know what to do.


	7. Attack

Melu: Yeah, I know this chapter sucks MAJOR ass, but my day has been literal hell and I feel awful. The reason this wasn't submitted earlier is because I was at the hospital getting teeth x-rays done to see if one of my teeth needed to be removed. So anyways, sorry again. We got lost two times and circled the (absolutely) HUGE Indianapolis area. I hate that city now. You can't tell which hospital is which, and construction has been going on over eight months now. Alright, I guess I'll let you people read now. u.u; Sorry for ranting.

I appreciate all of you reviewing and alerting. Please try to enjoy your read.

* * *

Once Roy made it back home, he noticed that his house key had been taken. "Shit! Edward, open this damned door now!" Roy pounded his fist against the door, but no luck. He ran around to his backyard and picked a decorative squirrel up, opening it. "How did he know?" _That_ key had been taken too! He ran around to the front of the house again.

"This is going to hurt..." He took a deep breath, before bringing his fist back, throwing it forwards into the window. It hit the glass and shattered immediately. Ignoring the pain, he jumped through it and ran in. "Edward!"

"Roy! Help!" Roy ran into the living room. "Ed!" Roy saw a strange man hovering over Edward, pinning him to the floor. "Well, it looks like you made it just in time for the show." The man grinned. Roy felt anger boil under his skin. "You sick bastard!" Roy ran forwards, his bloodied fist connecting with the man's temple. The man gasped and fell to the floor, looking up at Roy. Roy now had him pinned against the floor, his forearm pressed tightly against the man's neck.

"Who are you?" Roy asked, while pulling his cellphone out. The man coughed, and Roy loosened his hold slightly. "Gary Colman." The man answered. In turn, Roy got up and rammed his foot into the man's gut. "And who the hell do you think you are? Hello, police? Someone just tried to break into my house and sexually assault a friend that's been living with me."

Roy paused to press his foot harder against the man's ribs, a sickening crack filling the air. "Yes. The address is sixty-two-twenty-four Yale." Roy closed his cellphone, then yelped in surprise as he was suddenly tripped and held to the floor. The man straddled his hips, pulling a knife out of his pocket. "They may catch me, but at least you'll be dead by the time they get here." The man brought the knife down, only to be jumped on from behind.

"Get off of him!" Edward screeched, trying to yank the knife from the man's hand. He had tears in his eyes, and Roy was sure the blond was scared half to death of the position he was in. The man threw the petite blond off, causing him to crash into the couch. Roy looked at him, trying to see movement.

None.

"You bastard..." Roy whispered, before his foot kicked out, connecting harshly with the man's groin. The man groaned, dropping the knife and falling over in pain. Roy scrambled to his feet, grabbing the knife. He held it towards the man, but dropped it as a few policemen ran in. "He's there." Roy pointed to the man, and merely watched as they cuffed him and took him away. One of them stopped, looking at Edward.

"Will he be alright?" Roy nodded. "I think he was just knocked unconscious." He said. The man nodded, leaving with the other policeman. Roy then went over to Edward, checking his pulse. He sighed in relief. There _was _one. "What the hell were you doing, you idiot...?" He mumbled, gathering Edward into his arms and holding him closer. Edward groaned, his eyes fluttering open. He gasped, but calmed as he saw it was only Roy.

"I'm...I'm..." Roy shook his head. "Don't say sorry." He said. Edward frowned. He then spotted Roy's hand. "You're hurt!" He grabbed Roy's hand and examined it. "Edward, it's fine. I'll get it cleaned." He said. "You better, you bastard..." Edward then sniffed, breaking down into sobs. "Why did he come back...?" He asked.

"I'm not sure." Roy said. He then set Edward down. "I'm going to go take care of my hand. After that, you're in for a talk." Roy said sternly. Edward looked away as Roy got up, leaving towards the bathroom. He sighed, getting up and moving to sit on the couch. He drew his legs up, resting his arms on his knees.

Roy came out of the bathroom, heading to the Living room after bandaging his hand. His heart sank at the sight of Edward. He sighed, walking over and sitting down. He draped his arms over the blond's shoulders in a half hug, noticing the blond stiffen visibly.

Roy was going to yell at him. He knew it. He closed his eyes as Roy spoke. "Edward, I—," "I didn't mean to!" Edward blurted, his hands clenching slightly. Roy paused. "What...?" "Please don't yell at me...I didn't...I..." Edward was finding it hard to talk. Roy shook his head.

"Edward, I would never think of yelling at you." He said confusedly. "My voice may raise a little bit, but I would never yell at you." Roy said. Edward sighed. "I'm just sorry, alright? She said to write anything that came to mind...I zoned out..." He said. "Listen, I don't know. I just know I wrote words down. It was like...I wasn't writing them. Or...um..." Roy could tell the blond was having a hard time. He raised an eyebrow.

"Let's just drop it. You are okay, right?" He asked. Edward nodded. "I think I'm going to go to bed." He mumbled. He then got up, quietly excusing himself. Roy sighed. He wouldn't push anything out of Ed. But Roy was just terrified of the blond doing something he'd regret.

* * *

The next morning, Roy found it hard to keep his attention focused on anything. It was hard enough with Edward trying to come to terms with the day before. He kept staring at Roy for long bouts of time, then he would leave the room. Roy finally had to stop studying and look at him.

"Edward, what's on your mind?" He asked. Edward frowned, shaking his head. "It's nothing." He said quietly. "Bullshit." Roy said evenly. The chair gave a groan of protest as Roy scooted back, pulling the reading glasses off of his nose and moving over to sit by the blond. "Well...I've been wondering...would you hate me if I found out I was...g-gay?" He asked.

"Of course not, Ed." Roy said simply. Edward blinked, his cheeks tinting. "What?" He asked. "I don't hate gay people. If I did, then...Look, I kinda already figured you were." Roy trailed off as Edward blanched.

"...How'd you know?" He asked. Roy only chuckled. "Tell me," he said, "who do you have on your mind?" He asked. He was slightly jealous. Edward loved somebody? Well, he had to support him no matter what.

"I just...why do you want to know?" Edward asked, his tone quiet but defiant all the same. Roy chuckled again. "It'd be nice to know. Who is he?" He asked. Edward blushed. "It's...um..." He looked away. Roy rolled his eyes. "Can I take a guess? Is it Jean Havoc?" He asked. Edward's eyebrows narrowed.

"Not no, but _hell _no." He said, rather dryly. Roy shrugged. "I dunno then." He mumbled. He then got up. "Well, I'm going to the store. You need anything?" He asked. "...Aspirin." Edward said. Roy just grinned lopsidedly. "Oh yeah...we're out..." He chuckled nervously as he grabbed his hooded shirt, slipping it over his head and going outside.

* * *

"_Roy?" Edward's golden eyes stared into Roy's onyx ones, trying to sort out the papers for the next step of their project. "Why does Al hang around with Winry so much?" Roy paused in what he was doing, looking over at Ed._

"_He probably just loves her." Roy gave an uninterested shrug of his shoulders. "You mean, you can love someone outside of your family?" Edward asked. Roy turned to stare at him._

"_Of course you can, you blockhead! What are you, stupid?" He asked harshly. Edward looked down, going silent. "Well..." He mumbled slowly. He felt hurt all of a sudden by Roy's harsh words. "I just...I never thought..."_

"_Well, you thought wrong. Now, hand me that sheet of paper with my name on it."_

* * *

Roy hadn't felt remorse for talking to the blond like that. But now that he thought about it, it had been a pretty cruel thing to do. Edward had been so innocent. But yet, he was still innocent. Right? _Wrong,_ Roy thought. Edward had been _raped_ of any innocence he had possessed. It killed Roy how clueless the blond was. It wasn't a stupid clueless. It was a naive clueless.

"Hm...Aspirin..." Roy looked up and down the rows of pill bottles, biting down on his thumb nail. He really shouldn't be getting any medicine. _What if he tries to overdose when I'm not around? _No! Edward was fine. Roy had yet to see an act of negativity from the blond. Roy grabbed the bottle of Aspirin and shoved it into the basket, before heading off to the produce section.

Edward would be fine. He was recovering so fast already. After gathering the necessary items to make stew, Roy headed home. Edward was probably bored out of his mind. He laughed at the thought. Edward could be so silly when he was bored...

* * *

"_Hey Roy, look at this!" Roy turned, just in time to see two golden eyes dart in his line of view. Roy's gaze traveled up and down the petite boy who was hanging upside down on a tree branch, his shirt falling to bunch up at his chin. Roy rolled his eyes._

"_Come on down before you hurt yourself." He said quietly. Edward flipped, landing on his feet. "Ta-da!" he laughed, but then frowned. "What's eating you?" He asked. Roy shrugged. "Nothing, really...It's just...I've been wondering." He mumbled. Edward leaned in, urging the other male to continue. When he didn't, Edward puffed his cheeks out and fell randomly onto his back, lying in the grass. _

"_If you don't talk, your throat will inflate and you'll have to go around gaping like a fish like this," Edward puckered his lips, watching Roy intently, "and you'll get eaten by leprechauns." Roy's gaze went over to Ed. He then started laughing, causing Edward to frown._

"_It's true! Al told me so! Okay, well maybe it isn't but _still_!" Edward crossed his arms and pouted as Roy continued laughing. "I'm bored! You're not entertaining me!" Edward jumped into Roy's lap, pulling his ears forwards. "I can turn you into a monkey to do my awful bidding." Roy went quiet, and stared at Ed. Then they both went into a fit of uncontrollable laughing together._

* * *

Yes, Edward had been quite stupid. But being silly wasn't a bad thing. Roy wasn't that much of an asshole anymore. He grinned stupidly at the memory as he unlocked the door and walked in. "Ed, I'm home!" He called, wandering into the kitchen and setting the bags down. "Alright!" Edward called from the bathroom. "What are you doing?" Roy asked. "I'm going to the bathroom! Hey Roy, where's the hand soap?" Roy frowned. "Under the sink!" He called. "Thanks!" Edward called back. A few minutes later he exited, wearing a pair of ripped khaki pants that were rolled up at the ankles and a purple sweater that hung past his palms.

"I raided your closet. Don't I look just fabulous?" Edward twirled in a circle, laughing at the gaping expression on Roy's face. "You're silly." Edward said, wandering over and wrapping his arms around Roy's shoulders. The other male shrugged.

"I'm making stew tonight." He said, feeling a bit happy as he made Edward smile. "I love stew! It's my favorite, you know." Edward started to rant about how stew was the best stuff in the world as Roy pulled out the ingredients to make it.

"I know," He said smugly, "you told me that one time I came to your house for dinner." Edward nodded. "Yup! I thought you hated stew, but you ate it so you wouldn't insult my...mom..." Edward's mood seemed to dampen for a fraction of a minute.

"But now you're making stew so I'm happy!" He said quickly, planting a kiss playfully on Roy's cheek. Roy blushed. "You sure are acting odd today." Roy mumbled. Edward crossed his arms, the sleeves of the sweater flying out. "Am not." He denied, turning his nose up. "Okay, okay. Hey, how about this? Cut up these carrots for me. I don't like carrots." Roy passed the five carrots to Edward with a knife. "Humph. Fine." Edward put the carrots out on the cutting board, starting to cut them into slices.

"So what were you up to while I was gone?" Roy asked. Edward shrugged as he continued slicing the carrots. "Not much..." He said, his tone going distant and almost cold. "I...I want to know," He mumbled, "would you...hate me if..." Roy listened carefully. "Never mind..." He said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hey, no Ed. What's on your mind?" Roy asked. Edward was silent as he went back to the carrots. Roy jumped as the blond gave a screech of surprise. Roy looked over at the blood trailing down Ed's finger. Edward merely stared at it with morbid fascination, his eyes going a bit glassy.

"Edward?" Roy moved closer to the boy, dabbing at the cut with a napkin. Edward seemed to crash back to Earth, stumbling a little in the process. "R-Roy?" He asked, his voice strained. He stumbled into the raven haired male's embrace, gripping tightly onto the sleeves of his jacket. He then blushed an interesting shade of red, before standing straight.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. He shuffled out of the Kitchen, and the bathroom door was slammed a minute later. Roy sighed as the sound of heavy sobs floated through the door.

Okay, so maybe Ed wasn't as 'okay' as Roy had originally thought.


	8. The Journal

Melu: This chapter is filled with angsty goodness. :D I actually wrote this around 3 am when I felt I just had to add this part. It wasn't originally in the story, but you know. I decided to post this today because I'm in a good mood.

Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better. I thank all of you reviewing also. :D Enjoy the read!

* * *

Roy walked aimlessly around the Kitchen, occasionally tidying or picking at a few things. Edward had gone to get ice cream to help himself feel better, but denied Roy's company while claiming, 'he had to be alone'.

What good did ice cream do a person anyways?

Roy sighed, wandering to his room and flopping down on the bed. He was bored. Almost to the point of tears. He sighed, then blinked as he pressed down on Edward's pillow. It was a bit...hard. He reached underneath the pillow, pulling Edward's journal out.

What type of secrets did this book hide? Did it tell anything about the blond's condition? He looked back at the door lazily, before pulling himself up and wandering over to shut and lock the door. He then trailed back over to the bed, opening to the first page.

_Dear Journal_

_Today I met the world's biggest jackass ever. His name is Roy Mustang. I don't think I could ever get along with such a pompous, arrogant snob like him. Alphonse says I should try to get along with him since we have to be partners for some stupid science project. But whatever. If Alphonse thinks I can learn to like him, I have to try._

Roy blanched. He knew he had been quite the jackass to Ed, but he wasn't that bad... He shook his head. The blond got over it, so he wasn't worried. He flipped the page, continuing to read.

_Dear Journal_

_I HATE THE STUPID JACKASS ROY MUSTANG! He makes me sick! Today, I had to answer a question in English...I didn't know the answer. But that jackass stood up and announced in front of the whole class that I had been too busy watching Disney movies to study...I got laughed at. See, this is the reason I don't want friends...You don't know if you can trust them or not...I feel really bad right now...maybe I can fake sick and stay home for a few days if I'm lucky..._

Roy sat back. He remembered that day pretty clearly. He had only wanted to earn a few laughs, but now that he thought about it, it was something completely disrespectful to do to the poor guy. It had been his secret, after all. Roy felt guilty tears sting his eyes, but pushed them away. It was over now. He flipped ahead a few pages.

_Dear Journal_

_Maybe I was wrong about Roy...he stood up for me in lunch today when Breda called me a whore...I don't know what he meant, but obviously it was bad, because Roy got pissed and beat him up. I thought he'd be mad at me for kissing him the other day, but he's been nice to me a lot lately. Maybe I could be his friend... Anyway, Al got sick again. I'll have to go to school by myself tomorrow..._

Roy rubbed his eyes. Yeah, Breda had called Edward a whore. Even Roy hadn't known why at the time, but now he did. He had stopped speaking to the guy after that. He sighed, flipping the page.

_Dear Journal_

_Today was awful. In gym Jean Havoc and Breda Heymans cornered me in the locker room and beat me up. Roy asked me what happened and I couldn't tell him. I just said I fell down the stairs...I don't think he believed me though. I threw up in fourth period, too. I really wish I could just die sometimes...wouldn't it be nice? A black hole could just open up and take me away from the pain and suffering. Al doesn't know about me being beat up, but he did question the bruise on my cheek. It's a good thing he didn't see my stomach or back...I really hope tomorrow is better._

Roy bit down on his lip. He needed to go to more recent ones. He flipped ahead some ten pages, his eyes scanning over one page.

_Dear Journal_

_Today I feel horrible. I can't stop my habits...I think that Alphonse knows that I tried to―_

"Roy, I'm home!" Roy snapped the journal shut and stuffed it back under Edward's pillow, jumping up and running over to the door to unlock it.

"Welcome back!" Roy yelled. He opened the door, clumsily crashing into the blond and sending them both to the floor. Edward gazed at him for a moment, before laughing. Roy huffed and got up, crossing his arms. "What?" He asked. Edward shook his head. "Your face..." He giggled, reaching up to wipe a smear of strawberry ice cream off of Roy's cheek. He brought it to his lips and licked it off, before sliding out from under Roy.

"I got you ice cream." He said, holding the frozen treat out to Roy. The older male examined it, taking it and licking at it experimentally. "Dairy Queen." He muttered, his nose scrunching up. Edward shook his head. "I thought you liked strawberry...couldn't remember though." He yawned. "I already ate mine." He said. Roy blinked.

"Yeah...I was really bored while you were gone so I took a nap." He muttered sheepishly. Edward considered him thoughtfully. "Yeah!" He agreed, seeming to buy the older male's explanation. "Well, I'm going to wash up. I've got ice cream on my neck." Edward then silently made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Funny, Roy hadn't noticed anything on Edward's neck.

* * *

Edward sat against the door of the bathroom, his head resting on his knees. He had calmed down a little. He looked up, picking the razor blade up off of the floor and looking at it.

It made his blood run. This blade made the red, life-giving fluid run out of his body. He pressed the blade against his forearm, watching the crimson trail rise to the surface and spill over his wrist. Without this life-giving fluid, there _was _no life. How could a liquid be the very thing that made his body continue to live?

He was sure the brain had something to do with it too, as it was pretty obvious. But blood...it kept the body so _warm._ Blood was such a beautiful color, too. He brought the razor away, his eyes glazing over in thought as he looked at the wound.

Roy didn't know he was cutting. He didn't know. Edward was sure of it. He had been doing it even before Alphonse and his mother had died. Only Alphonse knew...he promised not to tell their mom...

* * *

_Alphonse made his way into the house, dropping his book bag next to the couch. Ed had to be feeling better now. Even if he had been throwing up that morning, Edward usually felt better by the afternoon the same day._

"_Ed!" Al made his way back to his bed room, opening the door. His eyes locked with Ed's for a moment, who regarded him with a tense expression._

"_Wel-come," Edward paused to cough a bit before continuing, "home." He sat up, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Alphonse laughed at the red pin-points covering the majority of Edward's face. "Throw up again?" He asked._

"_Yeah..." Edward mumbled. Alphonse stopped and frowned, moving to sit next to the older boy. "You know, I think this is one of the few times you weren't faking it." He said. Edward shrugged, sneezing. "I guess so."_

"_Oh, come on, Ed." Alphonse grinned, pulling the blond into a half-hug. Edward smiled weakly. "Hey, Al? Can you get me that glass of water on the dresser?" He asked. Alphonse nodded, moving to get the item._

"_So where is mom?" He asked, trailing back over to Ed. "Store." Edward replied, taking the glass and looking at it for a moment. "For what?" Alphonse asked. Edward yawned. "Cough medicine. She won't leave me alone, Al...she keeps coming in asking me if I'm okay and if I need anything. It's getting pretty annoying."_

"_She cares about you, Ed. You're the one she worries over the most because..." Alphonse trailed off, looking down. Edward blinked, before raising the glass to take a sip. Alphonse looked up, his eyes suddenly narrowing._

"_You're arm is bleeding." Before Ed could pull his arm down, Al grabbed it. The glass of water toppled out of Edward's grasp, falling to the floor as Al pulled the blond's sleeve up. Two red, angry gashes met his gaze._

"_Ed! Are you...cutting?" He asked, his tone incredulous. Ed pulled his arm away. "I...I...It was an accident...?" Edward knew that any shit he threw at Al, the boy would know he was lying. Al sighed. "Why?" He asked angrily. Edward sighed heavily, tears collecting at the corners of his eyes. Al grabbed his shoulders, shaking him slightly._

"_Don't you dare! Why the hell are you doing it?!" He hollered. Edward flinched back a little. "It's nothing!" He screamed back. Alphonse went quiet. "It's school, isn't it?" He asked._

"_I wish it was just that. It's...Roy..." The blond mumbled quietly, burying his face into the brunette's shirt. "He's been looking for every damned thing to make fun of me for! Yesterday he told Winry that I liked her, and then I didn't have any idea and denied it when she asked me and then she hit me really hard with her Math book..." Edward mumbled, sniffling loudly._

"_I promise I'll stop. Just...let me have it for a few days...It won't become a habit...please don't tell mom..." He said, looking up. His eyes had turned bloodshot. Al faltered._

"_I will tell her if you don't stop by Friday...but until then...I'll keep that promise." He said, his tone a bit bitter. Edward sighed in relief, throwing his arms around his brother. "Thanks, Al!" He said, grinning. Al just nodded. "Come with me. We need to get those gashes fixed up."_

* * *

Edward hadn't stopped by Friday. But even so, Al never did tell their mother. When Edward confronted him about it, Al had said that he had enough shit wrong with him and it would only hurt their mother more than she already was.

Edward felt a sharp stab of guilt pain rush over him. He grabbed the blade again, glaring at it with hopes that it would somehow disintegrate under his look. No such luck. It was his fault that their mother had been hurting. Why, he didn't know.

Ed didn't know why his mother had worried over him so much. She acted as if every day could be his last day of life. She had been guarding his life and seeing that he didn't get hurt. But some days, she did let him walk around and do whatever he wanted.

Edward was confused.

* * *

"Come on Roy! You're not being fair! Give it back!" Edward wasn't happy that Roy was using his lack of height against him. In fact, he was infuriated. Roy merely smirked lazily, holding the hairbrush just centimeters out of the blond's grasp.

"It's not my fault you're short. Now, say it." Roy had been trying to get Edward to say please for at least half an hour now. "No! You don't deserve a please!" Edward jumped, his fingertips grazing the handle of the brush. Roy smirked, holding it higher. "Please, Roy Mustang. Give me my hairbrush back and I'll do whatever you want." Roy said. "Say that." Edward pursed his lips.

"...Please?" Roy instantly caved at the eyes, lowering the brush slightly without realizing it. Edward smirked, grabbing it quickly before Roy could pull it away. "Mine!" Edward yelled victoriously. He waved it in Roy's face, then gasped as Roy tackled him onto the couch.

"I swear, you gain five pounds every day. ...Get off." Edward grunted, struggling to get out from under Roy. Roy smirked. "No," He said, "I'm not moving." Edward whined. "Why?" He asked, crossing his arms. Roy melted at the pout that embedded itself on the blond's face. "Be...Because I..." He fumbled with his words for a minute, before smirking once more.

"Because you need to be taught a lesson." As Edward opened his mouth to question this 'lesson', he let out a strained giggle as Roy started tickling his sides. "H-Hey, n-no fair! No, st-stop!" Edward went into a fit of laughter until Roy paused. It went quiet, and Edward cracked an eye open. Roy's gaze was locked on the hallway to the Kitchen, his gaze a bit distracted. "Someone came to visit." He climbed off of Ed, wandering over to the front door and opening it.

"Ms. Hawkeye! What a pleasant surprise..." Roy mumbled. Edward made his way cautiously behind him. Riza's gaze trailed to Edward. "Mr. Elric." She said, her tone placid. There was a hint of surprise in her tone, however. "I came to check on the information supplied at school. It said you were staying with Mr. Mustang...I came to confirm." She said. She hugged her coat to her. Roy frowned.

" Would you like to come in for some coffee or...?" Roy offered. Riza shook her head. "No thank you, Mr. Mustang," She declined politely, "it's late. I should be getting home as it is a weekday. I hope you feel better, Mr. Elric." She then turned and made her way down the sidewalk.

"Um..." Edward coughed. "So..." He scratched the back of his neck, shuffling in place as an uncomfortable silence took over the air. Roy shrugged, going down the hall to his room. Edward followed a moment later. He couldn't help but feel bad that Roy had school faculty coming to his house because of him. He entered the room and shut the door, climbing into bed and settling next to Roy.

"Hey, Roy...?" He asked. Roy blinked. "Yeah?" He replied. "You're not...mad at me, are you?" He asked. Roy sighed. "No, Ed. I'm not. I'm just...a bit frazzled is all. A lot has happened this week. I mean, if I had known that any of this was going to happen, even a little clue, I would have..." Roy trailed off as the blond's light snores reached his ears. He smiled humorlessly.

How did this boy manage to steal his heart so easily? Roy moved closer to the blond, wrapping his arms around the smaller male's waist and resting his chin on top of his head.

Oh well. He'd figure it out tomorrow.

* * *

Review please! :D


	9. Secrets Revealed

Melu: Look, I'm really sorry that this one is so short, but I'll post a longer one tomorrow. :D So try to bear with me. Also, I'd like to give a hand to my reviewers who have reviewed so far!

**Torean, PuRE'Cure, Crystal Pletzer, mrawgirl09, Autumn Silence, GreedxEd, rio, kutoki, Lexa, VermilionValentine, Shirokaze Rin! **

And to your question, Crystal: Yes, I have thought about being a writer, but whenever I try to do a regular story, I can never keep an attention span long enough to finish it. n.n; So I just stick with fanfiction.

Thank you guys so much. :D This story is the one with the most reviews on my page! 35! I'm really happy! :D

Also, I want to give a HUGE thanks to Torean for helping me with this!

* * *

A few days had gone by, and Roy was slowly growing concerned. Unlike his happier attitude, Edward was falling into some sort of depression. It had started around the time Ed had come back from a regular check up with the doctor.

Roy made his way into the bathroom, finding it slightly odd that the medicine cabinet had been left opened. He looked at his distorted reflection for a moment, before his gaze landed on the empty bottle sitting on the edge of the cabinet. He pulled it up to read it.

Edward's anti-depressants. The bottle was empty. Why hadn't Edward taken it to get it refilled? Roy quickly put the bottle back as Edward came to stand in the doorway.

"I'm going to the store." He said. Roy blinked as the blond turned to leave. "Wait, Ed!" Roy grabbed his arm. Ed whirled around to glare at him. "What?" He asked sardonically. Roy bit down on his lower lip. "Go get your medicine refilled." He said, holding the bottle out. Edward growled.

"I'm not taking that shit anymore." His tone became clipped as he jerked his arm out of the older male's grasp. "Why are you so angry today?" Roy asked. Edward sighed. "Sorry." He said, his tone turning soft. He then left, leaving Roy in a state of total confusion.

* * *

Edward didn't like the uncomfortable, eerie silence that seemed to settle over the store. It felt like everyone was..._staring _at him... Edward looked up as Jean Havoc stood over him. Well, shit. It was Saturday, Ed suddenly remembered.

"I heard you dropped out. Why? Too chicken shit to continue? I heard about your...crisis. I know everything." The sudden smirk that crossed the blond's face made Edward very uncomfortable. How much did he actually know?

"Leave me alone." Edward finally said, his tone cold. He shoved passed Jean, wandering into what appeared to be the bath product isle. Jean was quick to catch up with him. "So...how does it feel to be a real man, hm?" He asked. Edward tried to ignore him. But when the other man's hand went to his shoulder, Edward turned around, striking Jean in the jaw. "I said leave me alone. What part of that don't you understand you bastard?"

Jean stumbled back, clearly surprised by the force of the punch. Edward stood back, glaring coldly. After what seemed like forever, Jean coughed. "I...I'm going to go..." He muttered. He didn't get far as Edward suddenly tackled him, both hands going to the blond's throat.

"Do you want to know what kind of hell you people put me through?! Do you?! Well, you're fixing to find out!" Ed brought his fist back, and it was just about to leave a pretty good bruise on Jean's face when a hand grabbed his wrist, pulling him to his feet.

"Edward James Elric..." Roy took a deep breath as Jean scrambled to his feet. Edward looked between both Roy and Jean, before giving a shrill cry and lashing out to punch Roy in the cheek. "Leave me alone!" He cried. He slumped to the ground, tears falling freely. Roy was shocked for a moment. "Edward, what on earth were you doing?" Roy asked. Edward shook his head as his mouth moved in silent words. Roy directed his gaze to Jean. "Havoc, did you provoke him?" He asked. Jean shook his head. "Of course not!" He cried.

"Liar! You're a liar!" Edward stood up, looking at Roy. "He's lying, Roy..." He said. Roy pursed his lips for a moment, considering his options. He could believe Ed and beat the shit out of Havoc. Or he could side with Havoc and have Ed be pissed off even more than he already was.

Roy decided to go with the former.

"Havoc, I don't think Ed would be lying. He has too much on his mind to even think about lying. _Right, _Edward?" He asked. Edward felt guilt swell up inside of him for a moment. "M-mostly..." He said quietly. Roy frowned. "Mostly?" He repeated. As if on cue, Edward burst into tears again. He was an emotional wreck.

"So, Havoc, do you think it's right to mess with him right now when he's so unstable? His family just fucking _died, _you sick bastard! Don't you think you're doing enough at school? He cries himself to sleep every night because of your shit!" He yelled. He couldn't manage to quell the anger inside of him.

"So? It'll teach him to stop being such a baby." Jean shrugged in a nonchalant manner. Roy's eyes narrowed as he tackled the blond to the floor. He then struck him across the face. "You don't know what it feels like." He growled lowly. Jean blinked, staring at Roy in a flabbergasted manner. Roy glared coldly, before slowly rising to his feet.

"Don't you _dare _ever assume it's alright to mess with someone, you hear me? If I hear that you even considered getting close to Ed, you'll be wishing it was just your head." Something in Roy's tone sounded sadistic enough to get Havoc to go back up to the front of the store. Roy then turned, moving over to Ed and crouching down next to him.

"Edward...are you okay?" He asked. He tried to pull the blond in for a hug, but Edward just pushed away. "Leave me alone..." He said, his gaze narrowed in an angry glare. Roy frowned and stood up. "...I'll be at the front when you're done." He said.

"Yeah, I hear you..." Roy frowned and stood, looking down at the blond for a moment. He then left, leaving Edward in complete silence. After what seemed like hours, Ed stood up. After gathering his bearings, he headed up to the front of the store to find Roy.

"Roy!" Edward looked around. Roy stood up from his place on the bench, holding Edward's pills out. "You are very lucky I know so much about you. I had to tell them your social security number, and let me tell you. I had one hell of a time trying to remember. Now take these so you can stop being such an ass."

* * *

"So, care to talk about what happened at the doctor? That's clearly why you're upset..." Roy said. He saw Edward visibly flinch. "I don't want to talk about it." He said quietly. The car ride was not going good so far. Roy pulled over to the side of the road, turning in his seat. "Say it." He said. Edward frowned. "I...I can't." He said. Roy shook his head. "Then we're staying here."

"Why, Roy?! I didn't even know, okay? I didn't..." Edward shook his head, forcing his tears back. Not this time. He wouldn't cry over something so stupid. But as pained Golden orbs looked up into obsidian, Roy knew.

There was something much bigger than just a small problem. "Ed, are you...d-dying?" He asked. He instantly felt his throat go dry. Edward shook his head, biting down on his lip.

"No, it's..." He trailed off. "It's...No...No, I can't tell you! You'll hate me, I know it!" Edward couldn't help it as the tears he had been trying to hold back resurfaced. Roy was suddenly at a loss. "Ed..." He leaned forwards, wrapping his arms around the blond. Edward moved closer to him, burying his face into his shoulder.

"You'd hate me..." He whimpered. Roy shook his head. "Never. I would never hate you..." He was trying to reassure Ed. There was no possible way he could hate the blond.

"Well...It's a growth delay...the doctor says it's due to missing a factor I in my growth...I think...but it's very mild..." He mumbled. "But that's not the worst part..." He said. Roy willed him to continue. "My own mother didn't even tell me I had it. She was hiding it from me!" He said. Roy frowned. "You'd think I'd hate you over an illness? Why?" He asked. Edward pulled away sniffing.

"I c-can't...It makes me sick...every time I tried to question why I was so small, my mother avoided it. Always. She pinned it to the fact that I wasn't getting enough milk. But honestly...that wasn't it..."

"Ed..."

"It makes me want to hate her, alright?! She _hid _something from me that I had a right to _know, _damn it!" Edward then scrubbed furiously at his now bloodshot eyes. The tears had begun to sting them. Roy placed a hand on the blond's shoulder, shaking his head.

"Edward, you _are _entitled to hate the fact that she didn't tell you. But hating _her..._Ed, you're a better person than that. You love her and I know you could never hate her. I don't hate you because of that. Whatever you have wrong with you, I'm willing to accept it. You know, a couple of years ago I would have said otherwise.

"Your cheerfulness is the one thing that changed me. Your ability to look at the world with such purity, like a child...I envied you for that. You always made me feel happier in some way, even from the very beginning when I didn't like you. But Ed, I've learned what kind of person you are. You are very unique and there are _not _very many people like you. You understand that this is your only life and there are no do-overs. Most people can't understand that..."

To Roy's surprise, Edward shook his head. "No, Roy...you've got it wrong...all wrong..." He said sadly. Roy sighed. He hated the blond putting himself down like this. That _bastard _had crushed whatever self confidence the blond had. Roy pulled back, starting the car back up and pulling back into the road.

"You'll see what I mean some day, Ed."

* * *

Melu: Yeah, the medical thing...me and Torean searched on stuff for nearly an hour, and that's the best thing we could find. OwO;

Oooooh...do I smell ANGST? xD Next chapter is a doozy, people.


	10. Horrible Truth

Melu: I really like this chapter for some reason. Even if it is bad. Oh well. b(n.n)d (I took your thumbs up, Tory. xD)

Anyways, I do not own anything in this story...only the idea. xD

* * *

The next few days went by pretty good compared to what had happened. Edward got back on his anti-depressants and he was in better spirits. ...Except for his little bursts of resentment here and there...

"I don't wanna get up." Edward muttered sullenly. His fascinating dream had been rudely interrupted by a prod of a finger. "Ed...Psychiatrist appointment. It's already ten thirty, so wake up. We have an hour." Edward groaned softly as Roy started tugging a brush through his blond hair, With Ed's attempts of weakly swatting the hand away. As Roy finished, he sat back.

Edward made a dry choking noise, and Roy quickly got to his feet as Edward leaned forwards and threw up. "Ew." Roy said simply. He left and returned a minute later, cleaning the mess up. Edward scooted back and rubbed his eyes, groaning in dissatisfaction.

"Ed, Are you alright?" Roy asked. The blond was especially pale today, and his eyes were focused but glassy. Edward's gaze traveled lazily about the room, before landing on Roy. "H-Heya Roy..." He mumbled sleepily. Roy shook his head. "Ed?" He asked again. Edward's eyes slowly lost the glassy look.

"What...? Oh. M'sorry." Edward mumbled. Roy just stared at him, before shaking his head. "We have to be at the office in an hour. Get dressed." Roy then excused himself, wandering out of the room.

"Hm." Edward shook his head of a case of vertigo as he stood up, going over to sift through his bag. He pulled a red hooded shirt and a pair of black jeans out, before changing clothes and wandering into the Kitchen. Roy glanced at him.

"It's a little too hot to wear that..." He said. Edward shrugged. "M'cold." He mumbled. Roy went over to feel his forehead. "Well yeah, a little feverish. Let's get going." Roy then slipped out of the Kitchen, heading for the front door. Edward jumped, stumbling slightly to catch up.

* * *

"Ed..." Roy didn't know what was up with the blond. He was...capering. He had acted completely sick this morning and now he was _capering?_ Why? Roy paused as Edward caught up, digging around in his pocket.

"I got something you don't have." He said, grinning almost smugly. Roy blinked. "What?" He asked curiously. Edward pulled out a hundred dollar bill. Roy blinked. "Where did you get that?"

"Secret." Edward said impishly, before carrying on with his caper. Roy sighed. Edward was being really strange today.

* * *

"Edward, please. I know you really don't want to go, but...bear with me. Please." Edward sat in a chair at the far right, his hands behind his head. "I said I would. But if there's a way I don't have to go..." Edward trailed off as the receptionist came out.

"Mr. Elric?" Edward stood up and sighed, looking at Roy expectantly. "I'll be there in a minute. I have to use the restroom." Roy nodded to the blond and disappeared into the hallway. Edward sighed, heading back. He went straight into a relatively small room where a stern looking woman sat behind her desk.

"Hello Mr. Elric. I'm Izumi Curtis." The woman got up, going around her desk to look at the blond. Edward fidgeted. "Hello..." He mumbled. Izumi merely pulled him over to the couch at the far end of the office, sitting down in front of him. "My husband transferred you here, correct?" She asked.

"Yes..." Edward said nervously. Izumi nodded. "I see," She said, before standing up, "well Mr. Elric, we're going to do a test. I'm going to show you some pictures."

"And you want me to say the first thing that comes to mind." Edward said. Izumi smiled tightly. "Correct." She said. Edward nodded, getting comfortable.

"Alright. I'm _not _telling you what they are." She said. Edward frowned. "You mean...they actually _are _things?" He asked. She nodded. She then held up the first one and Edward stared. "A fire truck." He said.

Second one.

"Bird."

Third.

"...Is that a bottle of milk?"

Fourth.

"Walnut."

Fifth.

"Roy!" Edward yelled, pointing at the door. Izumi blinked, her gaze going to the door. Roy waved slightly. "I came in to observe, if I may." Roy said, smiling sheepishly. "Of course, Mr. Mustang." Izumi replied, nodding her head towards the couch. Roy slipped in quietly, sitting beside Edward. Izumi then put her paper back.

"Okay. Now, this will be pretty similar to what we just did. I'm going to say a word and you tell me the first thing that pops into your head." Izumi said, pulling a list out. Edward nodded.

"Black."

"Roy."

"...Vehicle?"

"Mustang."

"Pizza."

"Cheese."

"Brown."

"Alphonse."

"...Why do you say that?" Izumi asked. "He was my brother...he had brown hair." Edward mumbled. Izumi nodded. "And Mr. Mustang to black because he has black hair, right?" "Yes." Edward went quiet. "Well Mr. Elric, I think you're fine...but there's no way to tell. However, I think we can call it a day. I'll see you back next week." Izumi stood, giving the blond a hand. Edward took it, before stopping in front of Roy. "Can I have a dollar? I want to buy some Pocky." Roy rolled his eyes, chucking his wallet at the blond.

"Fine. Let me go sign you out and I'll meet you down there." Roy said. Edward nodded, grinning and going out. Izumi scratched her head. "Is he on...anti-depressants?" She asked. Roy nodded slightly, before taking his leave also.

"I'll be on my way, then," Roy said, before heading out of the room, "have a nice day, Mrs. Curtis." Roy bowed his head, before closing the door behind him as he left. He signed Edward out and was halfway down the hallway when his phone went off. He stopped, pulling it out and opening it, seeing it was from Edward.

_Roy...I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. _

Roy felt a mild sense of panic. What? What did the blond mean by that? He shook his head, hurrying down to the snack machines. As he expected, Edward had already left. He headed off, fully intent to get home before the other male.

* * *

"Ed!" Roy stepped into the house, looking around carefully for the blond. The house was filled with a tense silence, and Roy didn't take that as a good thing. He ran into the hallway, looking towards the bathroom, seeing light under the door. "Ed?" He called, trying the doorknob. Fear raced through him. "Ed, open the door!" He yelled. When he got no answer, he reached above the door and grabbed the key. The lock clicked after a few minutes, and Roy rushed in.

"Ed!" Roy's eyes widened. "Edward, no! Don't!" Roy panicked, running over to the blond and yanking the pocket knife from his hand. Edward turned a cold stare towards Roy. "Give it back." He said. The way he said it scared Roy. "I...I can't." Roy said finally, looking down. "I won't let you."

"I hate you, Roy. The one time I can get out...and you don't let me!" Edward finally snapped, breaking down into tears. Roy had no clue of what to do. "Ed..." He knew what the boy had been through was the seven levels of hell and back, so to speak. But he couldn't...He wouldn't let Edward give up like this. He had a very strong heart. Roy actually thought the blond had gotten better. And for him to just _give up..._

It made Roy sick.

"I want t-to be with A-Al..." Edward choked, shaking his head. Roy's eyes closed. "You...You've got to understand. Al wouldn't want this!" Roy couldn't _take it._

"Ed, I have something to tell you." Roy said. Edward looked away, his gaze turning sardonic. "What? You're disgusted that I...l-love...you...?" Edward was very hesitant to let the words go. Roy stopped. The blond...did...? Roy then shook his head furiously.

"That doesn't matter! I love you too!" Edward's eyes widened in shock. "Y-you do?" He asked shakily. "Yes, I do Ed! I have for a long time now! Just please...don't _do _this to me... I..I love you. So _fucking _much. It...it makes me hurt sometimes..." Roy looked down as tears collected into his vision. Edward gasped. "No, Roy! Don't cry, don't..." Edward raised a hand to wipe tears away.

"I promise I'll try." Edward said shakily. Roy was shocked when lips met his in a gentle kiss. Edward pulled away, before pressing his face into Roy's shoulder. "I'll try to get better." He said. Roy was shaken. Could he really believe that the blond he had been in love with for nearly a year and a half actually _returned _his feelings? Edward then got to his feet, pulling the dark haired male up with him. "I'm sorry Roy...I was so stupid...I almost...I was going to..." Roy shushed him.

"It's fine now, Ed. I got to you before anything happened..." He said. Edward suddenly looked away, tears starting to fall. "I'm sorry," He said, backing away, "that's...you'd be lying..." He said quietly. "Ed, what are you—," Roy gasped as Ed pulled his sleeve up, revealing cuts. Some were scars, some seemed to be a little old, some very recent.

"Ed..." Roy suddenly felt anger boiling under his skin. How could he not notice? Sure, Edward had been wearing more long sleeved outfits, but he would have never guessed...

"I'm sorry." Edward said again. "I...I know I was stupid. I was just...I..." Edward found his throat burning as he tried to talk. "No Ed, it's my fault. I should have been more observant of your behavior." Roy said, his tone a bit clipped.

"I'm a human being, dammit! I should be able to hold my own self in check! I shouldn't have anyone looking out for me...I'm almost seventeen, for God's sake! I should be able to care for myself..." Edward trailed off. Roy bit down on his lip, before grabbing Edward's arm.

"How long have you been doing this?" He asked, forcing the blond to meet his gaze. Edward looked down.

"I..About three...years..." He mumbled quietly. Roy's eyebrows rose. "You...were doing this before Al and your mother died?" He asked. Edward nodded, new tears springing to his eyes. "It...it relieves my stress...It makes me feel better..." He said quietly. Roy sighed.

"We're going for a walk." He said. Ed blinked and nodded slowly. As they headed out, Ed began to notice the tense atmosphere. He sighed. He wanted everything to be okay. But Roy didn't look happy about his most recent discovery.

* * *

Edward looked up as they made it into the Park. Roy sat down on one of the benches, and Edward moved to sit next to him. "Ed, you know I care about you. There isn't anything I wouldn't give up just to see you happy again. But Ed, cutting isn't the answer. You need to find another less harmful way, alright?" Roy wanted to make sure Edward knew the seriousness of the situation. Edward nodded slightly. "I know." He mumbled. "I'm sorry."

The two fell into an uncomfortable silence. After nearly ten minutes, Edward started fidgeting. Roy watched him for a moment, before deciding to speak again. "Ed...I didn't actually think you were mentally capable of ending your life, but...I guess even I'm wrong sometimes. But I know that you can think better than that, so I...I'm going to forget that ever happened." He said. Edward's eyes widened.

"I'm not going to do it again...I swear..." He then got up. "I'm thinking about going back to school after I'm fully healed. Maybe I can...you know...start over." He said. Roy merely smirked. "What, with how short you are, you could redo high school again. Maybe even middle school." He laughed as Edward shook his head. "Hey, at least I'm not the one who has to duck several feet to get into a car. I barely have to."

"Yeah, yeah..." Roy mumbled. He then stretched, before pulling himself to his feet. "What do you say we go out tonight?" He asked. Edward grinned. "Sure." He said, before grabbing Roy's arm and pulling him towards the exit of the Park.

* * *

"So what will you be having?"

"I still can't believe you had enough money to take us here..Roy, are you rich?"

"...That's a secret, Edward." Roy merely grinned at the awestruck blond. They were dining in one of the most expensive restaurants in town. "Um...I guess I'll get...hey, they have Beef Stew." Edward laughed humorlessly as he held the menu up. Roy smiled. "Yeah." He said, grinning back. "I guess I'll get a steak...or, I could get pasta...yeah, I think I'll take pasta. Their stake can't nearly be as good as mine."

"You cook steak?" Edward asked, one of his eyebrows raising. Roy scratched his cheek. "Well...yeah, I do." He said. This was news to Edward. "You'll have to cook it sometime." He said. Roy smiled. "I only cook it on occasion. How about for your birthday? That's coming up, right?" He asked. Edward nodded. "Yup! Then I can see just how good it is." He then looked up as a red-headed waitress came up to take their orders.

"What will you two be having?" She asked. Edward set his menu down. "I'll have some beef stew with a side order of rolls...and a diet coke, please." He said. The waitress nodded, turning to Roy. "And you sir?" She asked. "I'll have the Alfredo Pasta with a glass of iced tea." He said. The waitress nodded, before smiling. "Alright, I'll be back momentarily with your orders." She said. "Thank you, miss." Roy smiled charmingly as the woman left, turning and laughing at Edward's sour expression.

"Don't worry about it, Ed. I do that all the time." He said. Edward rolled his eyes, but still grinned nonetheless. "I don't see how you can." He said. Roy shrugged. "Why didn't you get a side?" Edward asked suddenly. Roy grinned. "Because, I was going to steal some of your rolls...want to order some ice cream afterwards?" He asked. Edward merely shrugged. "I guess." He said, before leaning back in his seat.

The two lapsed into silence again. Only, it was broken as the waitress came back with their orders. Roy thanked her, before taking a bite of the pasta. "Now," He said, taking a napkin to wipe his mouth off, "about that...wanting to go back to school thing." Edward looked up. "Hm?" He asked.

"You are aware that this is my last year...next year, I won't be there for you." He said. Edward nodded. "I was...thinking about that...I wouldn't really have anyone except Winry..." Edward mumbled. Roy nodded. "So, are you sure about it? I mean, it's only senior year...by the way, I'd rather redo freshman year than taking senior year. It's a bitch." He said, taking another bite of pasta. Edward glared at him. "Roy," He said, his tone scolding, "we're in a restaurant. An expensive one, no less! Don't talk like that!" Roy blinked. "Oh." He said simply.

"So anyways." Roy grabbed one of the rolls in the bowl next to Edward, taking a bite out of it. "You've barely touched your soup." Roy observed. Edward shrugged. "I'm more in the mood for ice cream, believe it or not." He said. Roy nodded, the conversation coming to a standstill as he finished his pasta. Once the waitress returned, Roy ordered the ice cream.

"Hey, Ed...? You remember when I told the whole English class you watched Disney movies in your Freshman year?" He asked. Edward glared. "Yes." He said, taking a bite of ice cream. "Well...I haven't really apologized for that." He said. "You don't have to." Edward said.

"I'm also sorry about the time I shoved the stuffed bear your aunt made you in Kimblee's locker..." "_You_ did that?" Edward asked. "Um...yeah...Everyone knew it was yours because of the bears' hair style..." Roy the burst into a fit of laughter, and Edward couldn't help but join in.

"Yeah, I remember that...of course it wasn't funny at the time, but when you think of the stupidity of it all..." Edward's laughter subsided as he took the last bite of the ice cream. Roy finished his as well, before pulling out two twenties and putting them next to the condiments. He then stood up. "Ready to go home?" He asked. "As long as you never bring up the memory of me torching your hair on accident..." Edward said, grinning. Roy paled. "That's not funny." He said. But Edward could see the raven haired male trying not to smile.

Edward was going to get better. One step at a time.


	11. End

Melu: Okay...This is the last chapter. I'd HIGHLY recommend skipping the 'scene' in this one 'cause it's not that good at all. I put up a warning for when it starts and ends in case you take my advice. But DO remember that it is only my second time writing one of these, and it's my first time doing consensual. Uh...Yeah, I thought it sucked, but...meh. Yeah, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. :D You guys made my day. I know the scene takes up most of the damn chapter...I do NOT know how that happened. u.u And yes, there will be a prequel and MAYBE a sequel. I'll have to think about it.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the story. I know that this chapter isn't as good as it COULD be, but...You'll have to give me a little time to practice. x3;

* * *

Over the next few days, Roy noticed Edward had grown slightly...nervous? No, that wasn't the word...well, rigid was more likely. Roy came around the corner one day, scaring Ed half to death.

"Roy!" He yelled breathlessly. Roy smirked. "Sorry." He said simply. "Actually Ed, I need to talk to you. Come with me." Roy headed off for the Living room. The words fell like a grenade, and Ed followed in a shifty manner. He sat next to Roy, his fists clenching.

"I've been meaning to ask, but with everything going on...well, let me just get on with it. I signed a form giving the OK to plan your family's funeral...Is that what you wanted?" He asked. Edward fell silent. "You...did?" He asked quietly. His shoulders visibly relaxed. "Well, I _am_ alright with it...just...I wish you would have talked to me first. I understand why you couldn't." Roy sighed.

"I wish it could have waited...it'll be three days from now." Roy said. Edward nodded. "Come on." Roy grabbed Edward's hand, pulling him down the hallway. "I'm going to cheer you up." Something about that tone scared Ed.

* * *

**warning**

"Close your eyes." Edward sat on the bed, mere inches away from Roy. He could feel the older male's breath on his neck. Edward fidgeted a little, stopping short as Roy's lips pressed to his. Edward eyes flew open, an expression of shock over taking him. "Roy!" He yelped. Roy frowned. "Too soon?" He asked regretfully. Edward paused, considering. "Well...n-no, I just...I wasn't expecting it. I'm sorry." Edward took in a deep breath and scooted closer, pressing his lips very hesitantly to Roy's.

Ed wasn't sure how long they sat there. It felt like an eternity. Roy's tongue slipped out, pressing against Ed's lips. Ed parted them slightly, allowing Roy access. As he explored Edward's mouth, the blond's arms wrapped around Roy's neck. Roy pushed back on Ed, pressing the blond against the bed. Edward complied, gasping for breath as Roy pulled away.

"Ed," Roy stated breathlessly, "I need to know now. How far are you able to handle?" He asked. Edward blushed. "Roy...with you, I am capable of coming over anything. I...I want you to show me what love is supposed to feel like." Edward obviously already knew what it was like.

But was it different with the person you loved? As far as Ed knew, sex was supposed to be a pleasure. He took a deep breath as Roy removed his shirt, starting to leave butterfly kisses down Edward's neck. Edward gasped. "Is...Oh my god..." Roy paused. "No, don't stop...I'm just...Ignore me." He said. Roy shrugged, trailing kisses lower.

"You know, I can stop this whenever you want me to. I will." Roy said. Edward nodded. "I know, but...Al was always complaining for me to grow up..." Edward paused to gasp as Roy hit his naval, giggling slightly out of ticklishness. "H-He always said that I needed to learn how to live with myself...and this has to be one of the things to get me to grow up. It'll get me over my fear." He said.

"Mm...that pornophobia thing?" Roy asked idly, moving up to flick his tongue at Ed's left nipple. Edward shuddered. "Well...yeah." He mumbled. He then blinked. "Are we talking casually to keep my mind off of what you're doing?" He asked suddenly. Roy stopped.

"I didn't think so." He shrugged. "I'm just distracting you. You can close your eyes again if you want." Roy then moved lower, starting to unbutton the blond's pants. "You are horrible." Edward muttered, closing his eyes and sighing. Roy merely smirked as he pulled Ed's pants down.

"Heh, you don't need much." He said suddenly. "What are you—!" Edward shuddered violently as Roy took his length into his mouth. Roy smirked. Edward felt blood rush to his cheeks, never having experienced anything like this before.

"Wh-what are y-you d-doing?" He asked. Roy pulled away for a moment. "I take it you've never masturbated?" He asked. Edward's eyes opened a little. "No..." He mumbled, blushing again. "Man...completely inexperienced..." Roy then went back to sucking him, causing a strangled moan to escape Edward's throat.

"I have n-no idea wh-what you're doing, b-but mmph...!" Edward moaned again, feeling himself building quickly to a climax. He had no clue what was happening to him. But the amount of pleasure coursing through him was too much. He let out a shriek as he came, Roy pulling away a moment later.

"Hey, guess what, Ed? You just got your first blow job." Roy said. Edward's cheeks flared up. "Y-you're a b-bastard, you know that?" He asked weakly, his body still convulsing slightly. "Yeah, I know." Roy said evenly. He then took his own shirt off.

Roy then started unbuckling his belt, and Edward closed his eyes again. "No offense Roy, but..." Roy shushed him. "I know. You can open them later." Roy knew Edward would probably never get over his fear, but this was the closest thing to getting over it. Roy wriggled out of his pants, before moving closer to Ed.

"Alright, Ed. You need to speak up if you feel pain after the first five minutes. It will hurt until you get situated. You know that, of course." He said. "But seriously. If it hurts after five minutes, tell me to stop, okay?" He said. Edward nodded, his eyebrows knitting together. "Alright," He answered, "Roy, I'm trusting you. I hope you know that. Whatever trust I have left is going to you. You won't hurt me, right?" He asked shakily.

"Of course not. I would never. But if you want to stop at any time, you tell me, okay?" He asked. Edward nodded. "Because I know you'd try to stick it out just to impress me." Seriously, Roy wouldn't put it passed the blond. He then leaned down to kiss him chastely on the lips, before grabbing the tube of lotion on his dresser. It would work. He then spread a little over his fingers, before moving down.

Roy looked back up at Edward for a moment, before inserting a finger into his entrance. Edward didn't seem to feel it. Roy then added another finger, and Edward pulled back slightly. Roy knew it was probably uncomfortable for the younger male. He then made a scissoring movement with his fingers, stretching the entrance a little. After a few minutes, he pulled back up to get ready himself.

After he was sure he was slick enough, he moved back over to Edward and positioned himself at the blond's entrance. "Get ready." Edward nodded in response. "Just get it over with." He said bravely. Roy merely rolled his eyes. He then slowly entered, causing Ed to hiss in pain. Roy pressed his palms to the younger boy's shoulders.

"Ed, Ed relax." He said. Edward complied, trying his best to get his muscles to relax. Roy pulled out slowly. "Are you doing okay so far?" He asked. Edward nodded. "Y-Yeah." He said. Roy pushed back in. After a few minutes, Edward suddenly gasped. Roy stopped, before thrusting back to the same place.

Edward moaned, a sign to Roy that he was doing okay so far. Edward dared to open his eyes. Roy grinned, pulling back and grunting as he pushed back in. Edward's hips bucked forward slightly. Roy pulled out, before pushing in as far as he could. Edward moaned in response, tensing up. Roy saw how close he was, his thrusts moving quicker. Edward gasped, before arching his back as he came. This in turn made Roy come also. Edward just stared in half-shock, half-amazement.

"Wow," He breathed, "that was...way different." He panted. Roy sighed, laying down beside him. "That's alright." He leaned forwards and kissed Edward on the lips, his tongue requesting access. Edward parted his lips, timidly letting his tongue venture to Roy's mouth. After a few minutes, Roy pulled away. "I love you." He said softly. Edward smiled. "I love you too." He said. Roy smiled back. "Go take a shower. After wards, we'll sit down and watch a movie."

Edward smiled, before moving to get up. He winced. "Roy, you didn't mention the pain in the ass..." He whined, before exiting the room. "You didn't ask!" Roy called, but it fell on deaf ears as the bathroom door shut.

**end**

* * *

Roy ran his finger's through Ed's blond hair as the younger male cuddled up to him, grabbing a handful of popcorn as Roy fiddled with the remote. "You know, you look really sexy in that." He smirked as Ed flicked a few popcorn kernels at him. "Pervert." He said, grinning. He was wearing one of Roy's larger shirts, which only came down to his mid-thigh. Roy chuckled as the movie started.

"I may be, but at least I have something to make up for it." He teased. "Like what?" Ed asked sharply. Roy laughed. "You know what." He said. Edward blushed, looking over to the TV. "I'll pretend I never heard that." He said hotly. Roy wrapped an arm around Edward's shoulders, kissing his head softly.

"You know, if I didn't love you, you'd be in trouble," He said, "in fact, I'm pretty sure you would be. But you're too pretty to hurt." He said. Edward just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, keep dreaming you bastard."

* * *

As promised, the funeral service was held three days later. Edward fiddled with his bow tie. "You know, I wonder what happened to Winry. I haven't even seen her." Edward mumbled. He mumbled as Roy came up. Roy paused. "I saw her a bout a month ago," He said, "she probably figured things out by now...probably still grieving..." Roy said softly. Edward nodded.

"Maybe she won't kill me for not talking to her...it was cruel not to let her know that I'm..." Edward trailed off, gulping. "Roy, I'm really nervous about this." He said, turning around and gripping Roy's sleeves. Roy gazed down at him, before pulling him close for a hug. "You'll be fine, Ed."

It seemed like years to get to the funeral home. Edward kept fiddling with his tux, uncomfortable in the suit. Roy helped him out of the car, accompanying him into the church. As they sat down, Ed dared to take a look around. Winry was up at the front with her parents, sniffling quietly. There were also a group of people he knew vaguely as his mother's friends, and a handful of people from school were there. A man coughed, grabbing everyone's attention.

"Today, we are not here to honor one, but two people. Trisha and Alphonse Elric." Edward zoned out as the man started talking about his mother's past. Roy squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, causing Edward to sniffle slightly and bury his head into Roy's shoulder. As the man ended his speech, Edward looked up. "I'd like to ask Winry Rockbell, childhood friend and girlfriend of Alphonse Elric up to say a few words."

Edward watched Winry stand, walking up to the front. "W-Well, Alphonse was...one of my best friends. He and I were..." She trailed off, sniffling. "We were very close." She paused. "And...and...I miss him..." She burst into a new fit of tears, "and his mother was a very kind and caring mother who supported both Al and his brother Ed." Winry then bowed her head, returning quickly to her seat.

"Edward Elric." Edward stood up. Roy blinked. "Are you sure...?" Edward held his hand up, walking up to the front and taking a deep breath. "You know, I've gone through hell these last few weeks," He said, nodding an apology for his tongue, "but I lived and I desperately wished to die every day. Not a day went by that I wished I had died also. In fact, I even tried to take my life a couple of times."

Edward heard Winry gasp, only nodding shamefully in her direction. "But a very good friend of mine reminded me that there are still people I love and still people that love me. I hope everyone can forgive me." He bowed his head, walking back over to sit by Roy. The man stood back up, clearing his throat.

"Everybody wanting to attend the burial can start heading outside." He announced. Roy looked over at Ed. "Wasn't it supposed to be about your family?" He asked. Edward shrugged helplessly. "Anything I had to say...is already known." He said stiffly, before getting up to go outside.

* * *

"Ed?" Edward turned around, facing Winry. He knew it would come. "Listen Winry, I'm...sorry...I didn't..." Edward trailed off. "You don't have to tell me." Winry said quietly. "You've lost your usual personality, Ed...something happened, didn't it?" She asked. Edward sighed.

"Winry, more shit has happened than I care to explain. But I finally have someone who loves me for me and even loves my odd behavior." Edward looked up as Roy sauntered over. "Hello Winry." Roy bowed towards her. "Edward, I bought some flowers to take to your family." Edward smiled sadly, accepting the flowers. Winry nodded.

"I see." She said quietly. "Well, Edward, I have to go. Just promise to feel better." She then turned and headed off as Edward turned to Roy. He then pulled him over to the two freshly formed graves, the white roses clutched to him. Edward crouched, looking between the two graves. "Wherever you may be, Mom...Al...I really hope you can forgive me. I know mom didn't approve of...my type," He said quietly, "but I hope you can forgive me and I know that wherever you are, you both are better off. I know now that I'm not supposed to go or I _would_ have...so I'll stop trying." He laid the flowers down on each grave, standing.

"And I promise to become stronger...for you both."


End file.
